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He had always spoken about himself back then. Funny it wasn't at all annoying to me. I loved listening to him ramble about how he lives his life. Especially about his principles and how he sees the world. He taught me a lot and that was what had made me fall for him. Hard.

He had always spoken about that park. The park where he goes to every night. Smoking. Playing guitar. Taking pictures. Find his muse. Think about his life and dreams. The park where his favourite band devoted a song to. The park that I thought was out of reach for me, and yet I still would have given a lot to be there. Especially with him.

He promised me that he'd meet me there one day. To watch stars. I've never had anyone invited me to watch stars before. A lot of people might think that is so old fashioned and boring. But I thought it was sweet. Yes. I would love to watch stars with you.

When I finally did reach the park, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right at all. It wasn't at night. He wasn't there. And we were not watching the stars. It was not right. Still. I felt the rush. I saw the flashes of pictures that I saw in his Friendster. I saw the stairs he sat on. I saw the tree he leaned on. I saw the dinasour statue he took a picture with. I was exactly where I wanted to be a year ago.

Which was why it hurts me. God it hurts me. To be there. When it wasn't night. When he wasn't there. And when we were not watching stars. Instead, I was running around the park, trying to find every spot I could remember ever seeing in pictures and ever heard him spoke about. Every spot that I knew he had been to. Every spot that I knew he had walked on. I felt pathetic. I felt melancholic. It was unbearable.

I'm glad I have finally been to the park. The park I have longed to go to for more than a year now. Even though I didn't feel what I dreamed I would feel when I am at the park, still, I can now say I have been to the park. I have been where he's been. I have walked where he has walked. I have sat on the stairs that he sat. I have been and seen the place he goes to every night, when I used to wait for him at home. And as sad as it may sound, I incredibly wish it was at night. I incredibly wish he was there. And I incredibly wish we were watching the stars.

I miss you a lot.