my love's LOVER'S lover.

I turned to the gate. I waved my goodbye. That is so very me to bid goodbye when I don't want to mean it, yet couldn't say goodbye when I want to leave. He was late for tuition so he had to leave. My two guests chattered behind me. I pouted. Sigh. That wasn't how I wanted that day to end. That wasn't when I want to say goodbye to him.

My guests and I sat outside around a guitar while I tried to hide my sadness to myself. The guitar tuned into Sway. On the occasion of a volvo car stopped in front of my house that made us stop. Ayah? Pak Su? I made my way to the gate to see a chinese lady around her 40s coming out from the car door with a bouquet of roses planted in her arms.

Another gift for mama was the thought that played in my head. Until I came face to face with the lady to be told that it was addressed to a lady name Bonnie.

BONNIE!?

I rejected the flowers thinking bonnie did not live in that house. I suggested that she have gotten the address wrong though she herself proved me wrong. She carefully examined the card again to offer the name Bernie.

I frowned. Bernie? Who would address a bouquet of flowers to Bernie. I was reluctant to accept the flowers as I was afraid it could be of another Bernie that it was meant to be for. My guests ushered me to receive it anyway and they had smirks on their faces.

I thought my female guest, who is one of my close friends, was responsible for the flowers but as I read the card, I stand corrected.

I almost dropped myself to the floor under the shining sun. Although my tears didn't do a good job from not falling. I cried. It was so sweet. It was something I have imagined since I could remember.

I cried myself more. "You'renot suppose to cry, you should be happy!" was what I could hear. Have one not ever cry because they were so very happy? I understand how it feels to be that way.

I cried more.

There has been only twice in my life that I cried because I am so very happy.

In form one when my mother started being curious. I thought she was hiding the fact that she had a fatal disease and that she would die. I cried out of happiness when I found out that we are to gain a life than to lose one.

And second, on the 18th of July 2006. When Shahrul Iman bin Shahizan bought me a boquet of roses for our 2nd year anniversary.

Many love shahrul iman. And thank you for the flowers and the photo frame. No one makes me feel more special than you can.

- I love you my love's lover's lover. ehehe.