life's LONG road

I stare at the blank space.

The blank space known as my mind

I sat there

Thinking

Wondering

Do I belong in this place?

This place where everything seems to be different

This place known as the world.

A place where everyhting I know, everything I believed

Seems just like an excuse

To continue living

This dark hole I wish I could jump forever

Seems to get even more deeper

Everyday

So tempting

So inviting

No one stop me!

I sat at the corner

Looking at the sky

So dark, so cold.

Nothing could heal this pain

Nothing could keep me warm again

I’m lost

Gone.

I hold the dagger up

Ready to shoot it through my veins

To end this lonely life

Of darkness

The dagger ready to strike

Ready to sink it’s sharp end inside my skin

Sink it deep

I opened my eyes

To a place I am much familiar with

The hospital

I have been there before

Many times

At every attempt to kill myself

But realize that I fail

Only eveyrtime

I end up there

The fresh cut

That I added to my collection of trying to kill myself

Was, like the rest, wrapped around a bandage

The red blood, dirty blood as I like to see it,

Has wet the white cotton.

I lay on the bed

Giving in to the pain

The pain that I wish would just take away my life

Soon

One way or another.

Mother had her talk again

Insulting my friend

The dagger

The only one I could depend on

The only one that I could trust

I stared again

At the blank space

Still thinking.

Do I belong in this world?

World full of joy and excitement

But only to cover up the lies

The hatred

Why can’t everyone open their eyes?

Why can’t they realise?

Life but a walking shadow

A poor player

That struts and frets it’s hours upon the stage

And then is heard no more

It is a tale

Told by an idiot

Full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing.