Friday, September 08, 2006

is my being EMOTIONAL funny?


Great. Just when I thought my train ride is now straight to spm and studying, life had to pull the lever and divert me to a road on quick sand. I told myself that I must not have any more drama now. I don't need any. Drama free me is already not having enough studying time, so why add preassure to the whole situation.?

I know this might make some of my friends mad, but I apologize because I could not talk about this to them. I guess there are things better kept alone. And this is one of it. Please don't ask, because there is no point of me telling. It won't change anything. I just need to let go of the thought. I know I had been very mean. I know it was wrong for me but anyone would be overwhelmed with a situation like that. I guess my keIMANan is just not strong enough. but I must.

I need not involve myself with such things and I know I might or might not hurt some poeple in the process but I must stop now before things get any worse. I have grown up with many pains from my childhood. I have been hurt by people and let me tell yah, ITS NOT A GOOD FEELING.

So I shall not do to others what I hate others do to me. Isnt life much simpler if there is no such thing as choices. Because then you need not need to make the wrong one. I regret it. I apologize for the pain. I'm just glad that this hasn't turned into something that I could not take back. The confusion only affects me, its my fault so I'll live with it alone. I just don't want to hurt the people I care for. That is why you guys are better off not knowing what happened or what might have. Please respect my lack of sharing more informations.

I am feeling much better because my gfs and I are talking about how I can be so cool when I am lame right now. so they're making me feel better. I shall live with this desicion now. And I shall correct my wrongs so no one else will ge effected. Love me still because my love for you guys are not at all changed. I hate myself for starting this. And I love myself for putting an end to it.

I hope no one figures out what the crap I'm talking about because like I said, the less people know, the less real it becomes, less hurtful it will be. So pass this post and just go like..
owh the pms-moody-crappy-tak-tentu-arah-bonk-in-the-head version of farisa is here. so get her shahrul and she'll be jumping after 2 minutes.

which I think I will.

(i wont be surprise if atikah is thinking that. ahaha.)

ps. I need to write this to clear my head, I don't need the sympathy. Its my fault so I don't deserve any.

- if atikah can have her emo posts so can I.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 12:24 am

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