semi-BRAIN-damage

listening to : all in love is fair - s club 7
mood : not so good
current status : MY MOM STOLE MY PHONE!

well. I made it. 2 weeks of hardcore examing. and yet still have a week more to go.
*groans*

life has been nothing but school. books. and sleepless nights studying.

note to self (for the thousand times) : Do Not Study Last Minute.

I'm telling you. I can't. I mean. Even if I tried. Theres this voice in me that always go.. "there's still time" or like "I don't care".

BUT THATS JUST IT!! I DO CARE!

it sucks that my thought takes over me. A lot. Sometimes, I think or do things even I don't want to. Because my mind wants to. Made me actually. And it sucks.

I don't have self-control. Sometimes I do it because.. because I just did. Even thought I don't want to. Regrets. I get that a lot. sigh. I need one those little self-control device thing when I can zap myself whenever I think of doing somehting I know is either bad, wrong, or just something I don't want to do.

so anyway. back to my exams. yeah. I can't study early. I don't know why. I made this little 'jadual peperiksaan about a month before my exams'. guess what. I didn't follow at all. I mean I tried sure. I suppose to finish Bm and Eng. like 4 weeks before exam. And I only did the night before the exam. Thats just me. I cannot study early.

And I know its like a really bad thing. I mean. I have SPM next year. And it ain't gonna be easy or like 'theres still oher exams'. THAT IS THE BIG ONE!!! urgh.

I made plans for next year. Study plans. Pray to GOD I get to fulfill them as plan.
Which reminds me. The plan is now I am suppose to bury myself in study books. But look where I am.

well I figured it out. I have to study throughly on Friday and Sunday. Coz Saturday.. I'M GOING SHOPPING!! I can't wait. We're going to shop for baju raya. *jumps up and down*

so anyway. I have to study really good this time. the papers that has yet been sat for is accounts (1st paper) add maths (2nd paper and the killer) physics (1st paper) b. melayu (1st paper) sejarah (1st paper) and my mod maths (1st paper)

okay I lost hope in accounts - I did so bad in the 2nd paper, even if I scor full marks in paper 1, I'd still don't have an A. I'd get 69. How fucked up is that! so I am trying to get those full marks so I could PLEAD the teacher for one mark. I don't count on it though. the teacher is a bit -------

add maths -well first paper was quite easy. I mean, its okay. but the first paper is the real killer. so I need to really do well there. I mean if I do good in 1st paper and not so good in 2nd paper, its still not a sure A.

physcis - I mean I have to get an A right.

b. melayu - well I need to buck up on my second paper jugak. coz its not a sure thing my karangan the teacher like. So I need the other paper.

sejarah - my 2nd paper sucks! so I need my 1st one.

mod maths - I'M FAILING MY MOD MATHS BELIEVE IT OR NOT! My second paper was so bad I don't think the first one can support. But I have to do it good. URGH!!!!

I am so not getting top ten...

- I am having a semi-brain-damage. this post doesnt make sense.