Wednesday, January 25, 2006

a TASTE of form 5

listening to : time of your life - greenday
mood : not so good.

I'm dead beat. I am so tired I can use a good 10 hours sleep now.

Yes thats form 5. Actually, form 5 is not so bad. I mean besically its just like form 4, only that the teachers drill you more and you tend to have more tuitions than you could handle. And yeah, no stress. Not so much at least.

Its just me. My form 5 year. Its starting of pretty.. badly. I mean okay not badly but like.. I'm already enroling myself into so much societies and events than I could take. That was my perception you know. FOrm 5. Its the time you grab those opportunities to be the Board of Directors in any society. And when you do get that job, you know you have to live up to it.

In my case, I'm living up to 6 THINGS!


- well, I have been so loyal to Pengakap since I was in form 1. Now that I am in form 5, obviously I have to get a post. To pay off my loyalty and stuff like that. So I got my Troop Leader job there. I take pride in being the troop leader. I love the job. I love that I could take control. I love to make a difference for the body. I know that I am the one responsible to restore the Pengakap name that has been going down recently. And it takes so much of my attention, especially when I start with my projects. I planned that my Pnegakapa will have at least 1 big activbity each month until June. Now it scared me a little, I mean, Setia has everything planned every month till June. I can't manage both and still get good grades on my papers. But for me to take back those activities is like, taking back the excitements of my little Pengakaps. I have a responsibility to them to make their joining us a good experience. So the only thing that is keeping me calm is the fact that I could count on my BODs to help me. I could give them the responsibility while I only monitor the process.

- project manager. Its a good thing that Setia is of 17 BODs. That means my burden would not be so heavy. But it scares me still that I wonder if I could juggle both Pengakap and Setia. I mean I can only do so much. And I know what to expect from Setia since we have gone through the whole hoopla-poopla already. But It still gets to me sometimes. I mean, not physically, yet. But mentally, its getting to me. I feel so scared that I couldn't comply both the demands of each post. I mean, I couldn't step down from being Project Manager of Setia. I mean, I have worked hard to gain that title, and I can;t bail my job in the middle. I have to finish what I started. And so that means maybe I should drop the Pengakap post. To go for something a little easier. But, I've been wanting this since I am in form 1. Okay never thought I'd be the troop leader, but the fact that I am now, I feel good. I feel as if I could prove myself, to a few people or so, that I can lead this body. I can make it something fun, useful and do what real Scouts should be doing. The past years had been under such bad managements. I want to change all that.

Graphic Designer for SMKSU Yearbook

- I know, I've been contemplating the job too. But its such a good opportunity for me to improve on my so called designing skills. If its there. I mean, itsa job I've been wanting since 2 years ago. And its a career I've been thinking of going for. I mean, thats where my passion lies. Creating something thats completely me, and able to share it with the world. OOOO!!! I love it! But I heard that graphic designing is really a tough job. Especially when we need to cram everything in this year. So many pages and stuff. Owh no. But I am really looking forward to this job. I mean its not a certain that I'm in but I'm already getting my assignments. Guess thats a yes. But I'm so scared that it will take so much time. And so will my 2 other jobs. OOOHHHOOOHOOO!!! Pressure comes here.

Naib Bendahari for Kasturi
when I applied to this job, it was like a moment thing. I was in a greedy mood that day and I felt as if I want a post in everything I joined. And apparently, these people voted for me and I got the job. It doesn't do much really. It just makes me attend the house practises every week. And have loads of fun going there, it just really takes up my time. I found myself sleeping in my night tuition out of exhaustion throughout the whole day. yargh.

And the funny part is, I am interested in joining debate, English Speaking Competition, and Choir. AHAHHAHAHA. Mom wouldn't allow me to join all these stuff though I would be sooo glad if I could. I love doing these things. But I should always put my head back to reality. I mean, how much I love to do all these stuff, I am already too fully booked for anything else. I mean seriosuly, I am already holding that 3 big ass jobs that i don't think I can carry out so well. Mama said I should drop one and concentrate on the other really good. But I coudln't. I wouldn't give up any of the 3. Its really what I want to do.

Wouln't it be cool if I could drop my studies! Then I'd be such a happy girl. But nah. But the meetings itself is alreay killing me slowly. Just today, I came back from tenth period, only to have enough time to have lunc. then i had to get ready for my house practise, which leads straight to Add Maths tuition, after that. An hour after reach home from Addmaths tuition [and mind you I walk to my tuitions] I'd be getting ready for my Eng. Lit tuition. Yup. EVEYR FRIGGING WEEK TILL THE END OF THE YEAR! So pray for me that I could juggle everything and still get a good cut for my SPM. I really need it.

And please pray that I won't run out of energy, all fall sick somewhere along the line. I need it. I need this. I need my form 5 life to go well. After all, I;m an adult next year. :P


- you're booked for a meeting at this this hundred hours. you're booked for a meeting at that that hundred hours. Im booked for a meeting ALL THE TIME!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 8:04 pm | 3 Comments