Saturday, January 10, 2009

I ship love back to London.

I am dedicating this post to my sister whom I love teramat sangat.

(Farhana binti Roslan)

So when I read that Yuna was going to go to UK to perform, I quickly emailed my sister. I told her that she can go catch Yuna there. Here I was excited that she's be able to catch Yuna (antara penyanyi kesayanganku) only to have her reply my email saying that Yunalis Zarai herself will be living in her house during her stay.

I gasped but my sister konon konon acted cool (like she always do) saying that I shouldn't get too excited or anything. It was just a simple thing to her. Her housemate, Ain Zubaidah, who happens to be Ainul Mardiah punya sister, is usually the one to handle independent artists yang buat performance in London. So since Yuna is a malay girl like themselves, she stays with them in the house. I screamed.

Well, Ayong gave me little updates on Yuna while she was there but when my sister went for her tour around God Knows Where, I haven't heard from her. Well, yesterday, my mom gave me 2 pieces of Cds. I jumped up and down in my orange skimpy towels when I saw what it was. Ayong have asked for Yuna to personally sign 2 of her album. One was signed for Farisa and one was signed for Atikah. It was so very nice of her.

Walaupun kakakku ini tidak semangat dengan benda benda semacam ini, she knows how much I do and got me and my friend (who mind you, is also obsessed with Yuna Zarai) her cd. And we got it for free. Well, what other thing to remind you how much you love your sister than her shipping of a couple of CDs to you eyh!?

Hahah. Sayang Ayong. Sayang Yuna.

Well, I'm inserting this song in celebrating this moment. :)

Yuna - Rocket

- people come and people go and people gonna come some more.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 2:58 am | 0 Comments

Friday, January 09, 2009

kita semua perlu BEBAS

have you seen this? This video is hilarious but at the same time GENIUS!

Minute 2.45 is funny.

- saya sayang BUTTERFINGERS.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 12:25 am | 0 Comments

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Mawar Khayalan - Laila's Lounge

02 lailas lounge - mawar khayalan.MP3 -

Now I know I am not a fan of KAMI since well, I have never watched it. But I love this song. I love the lyrics.

Semua yang jadi tanda tanya
Buat hatiku tak keruan
Dia wajah yang berkeliaran
Aku, kudamba kehadirannya

Oh mawar khayalan
Bawaku terbang tinggi
Jauh rentasi awan
Dari duniaku yang hampa

Seluas laut yang terbentang
Dan buihnya terapung di awangan
Derita, derita yang mencengkam
Cuba untuk aku bertahan
Dimana oh wajah yang berkeliaran
Sungguh kudamba kehadirannya

Oh mawar khyalan
Bawaku terbang tinggi
Jauh rentasi awan
Dari duniaku yang hampa
Kecewa tak bermakna
Semua hanyalah tipu daya

Modenisasi hanya…

Semua yang jadi tanda tanya
Buat hatiku tak keruan
Dia oh wajah yang berkeliaran
Aku, kudamba kehadirannya

Oh mawar khayalan
Bawaku terbang tinggi
Jauh rentasi awan
Dari duniaku yang hampa

Kecewa tak bermakna
Semua hanyalah tipu daya

Modenisasi hanya
Untuk haiwan di rimba
Globalisasi cuma
Jadi tuan si hamba
Ooo monarki untuk apa
Badut-badut istana


Oh mawar khayalan

- I simply love the bolded lines.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 12:25 am | 0 Comments

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

you're like a rocket in my mind

Do you know what is simply frustrating to realize in this world?

To know that you're absolutely great at NOTHING. Seriously. I think I am one of the few people in this entire world who is absolutely great at NOTHING.

I mean think about it. I am not exactly the smartest person around. There are always somebody (well many bodies) who shoots up way better than me.

First there is my ability to play guitar. Well, yeah I can pick a few strings and strum a few chords. But that is simply how far it goes. I have no talent to even write a proper song of myself. Okay yes, I have written a few, but none that I feel very proud to parade of.

I mean, how does kak Yuna, Mia Palencia, Estrella and such write the songs they did. How could they come up with the rhythms that they came up with? How do they know which little notes fit best with one another? I'm sure it's not rocket science. I just believe that I don't have the ability to come up with such things. I don't have the vision. I don't have the hearing. All I have are moments where I start belching out words that may or may not sound like a song. I just don't have the artistic song writing bone.

That's one other thing. God and here I pride myself with the idea that I am more of an artistic person than I am of a logical one. But I am not good in arts at ALL! I was convinced that I have the eye of an artistical person. For one thing, I went through my sister's economic magazines judging the arts of the magazine rather than the content. I sit at the back of the car looking at road advertisements and making my own little comments and figuring out how I would have made them better. That's gotta mean something right?

But well, I couldn't draw to save myself. I have a sketch book that is littered with pictures that looked like the drawings of a 7 year old. I can't even draw a proper cat without making it look like a ridiculous little mouse. I guess it can be argued that I can design fairly well on the computer. Well that's not exactly shouting greatness. I mean I can create a poster but in the end, that's how far I go I guess. Designing posters for school events and creating end-of-the-year magazines. That's not me being great at it. That's me being nominated because there are no one else who wants to do it.

I could say the same thing about my ability to write. Even if I get a certain high when I write and on certain occasions, teachers compliment me on my writing, there would always be someone who is BETTER in writing the essay than me. Regardless of how interesting I make my essays twist, I just do not get the benefit of being the best. And that is just depressing.

And don't let me even start with my mathematical and calculation ability. Back in high school, scoring maths and accounts was alright with me. But coming to Intec, I have suddenly turned into an idiot. I kept failing those subjects. That's a confidence booster now isn't it? You're suppose to come out, grow up and be smarter in those subjects. With the knowledge and experience and all. But I was downgrading and that felt awful.

Even back during my high school days, I never scored straights A's. My PMR and SPM was never great and it just seems so difficult for me to get a perfect result. There has always been a weakness somewhere in between.

How about my social skills now? I'm not exactly sure how I rank in this field. Back in high school I was the geeky girl who is loud and seemingly happy all the time. I was told that I love to pout and brute everyday. And here I thought I was being just a normal person throughout the 3 years. Apparently not. Then I come into INTEC and was perceived as this REALLY outgoing girl who is arrogant with her English speaking accent. ahaha. I didn't think anyone liked me back in semester one. But in semester two and three I start to communicate with people outside my bubble and try to be friends with other people.

And I thought I was doing fine, until one day, a girl came up to me and said hi. I introduced myself and she said she already knew who I was. I was surprised and when I asked, she simply said, "Siapa tak kenal Sasha" in a sarcastic tone. I didn't like the statement AT ALL! Everytime people kept repeating that line, I get really pissed off. I do not like it because it means that people are talking about me behind my back. I didn't care if it was good or bad, I just didn't like the idea. Based on my guess, I'm guessing they didn't have good things to say. We'll never know for sure but I guess I didn't score all that well on that part too.

Oh how about my ability to strike the fancy of a boy. AHhaHAH! That one is definitely OUT.

So gahhh! It is very frustrating to look back on your 18 years of living knowing that you are not great at anything! Yeah you're able to do many things, but you're just not GREAT at them. Urgh, I guess this is just one of those moments when you put yourself down and list down all your negativities. I guess it all comes with the fact that I will be moving to Australia, into a University where people around the world goes to. I will be surrounded by smart people who will be talking about world events, economic problems and the new accounting methods or sorts. There will be more all-rounded people in one place that I have ever been to. Where would I fit in then? I just wish I could find one thing that I know, people would go to me for because they know I am GREAT at that.

- Oh I know, I'm good at procrastinating. I'm GREAT at procrastinating. Pathetic. :\

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 11:20 pm | 2 Comments

mind blowingly nerve wrecking

This is ridiculously nerve wrecking. I am in a state of anxiety and I am scared. I am taking the condition for granted and once again, procrastination has gotten the best of me. Once again my mom and dad have to pay for my mistakes. I need to get this right. I need to get this. Oh God. Bless me.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 2:11 am | 0 Comments

Monday, January 05, 2009

padang keramat


He had always spoken about himself back then. Funny it wasn't at all annoying to me. I loved listening to him ramble about how he lives his life. Especially about his principles and how he sees the world. He taught me a lot and that was what had made me fall for him. Hard.

He had always spoken about that park. The park where he goes to every night. Smoking. Playing guitar. Taking pictures. Find his muse. Think about his life and dreams. The park where his favourite band devoted a song to. The park that I thought was out of reach for me, and yet I still would have given a lot to be there. Especially with him.

He promised me that he'd meet me there one day. To watch stars. I've never had anyone invited me to watch stars before. A lot of people might think that is so old fashioned and boring. But I thought it was sweet. Yes. I would love to watch stars with you.

When I finally did reach the park, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right at all. It wasn't at night. He wasn't there. And we were not watching the stars. It was not right. Still. I felt the rush. I saw the flashes of pictures that I saw in his Friendster. I saw the stairs he sat on. I saw the tree he leaned on. I saw the dinasour statue he took a picture with. I was exactly where I wanted to be a year ago.

Which was why it hurts me. God it hurts me. To be there. When it wasn't night. When he wasn't there. And when we were not watching stars. Instead, I was running around the park, trying to find every spot I could remember ever seeing in pictures and ever heard him spoke about. Every spot that I knew he had been to. Every spot that I knew he had walked on. I felt pathetic. I felt melancholic. It was unbearable.

I'm glad I have finally been to the park. The park I have longed to go to for more than a year now. Even though I didn't feel what I dreamed I would feel when I am at the park, still, I can now say I have been to the park. I have been where he's been. I have walked where he has walked. I have sat on the stairs that he sat. I have been and seen the place he goes to every night, when I used to wait for him at home. And as sad as it may sound, I incredibly wish it was at night. I incredibly wish he was there. And I incredibly wish we were watching the stars.

I miss you a lot.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 5:25 pm