Saturday, September 18, 2004

clips of HAPPINESS!!

listening to : Hilary Duff - Fly
mood : happy
current status : stomach ache

GUESS WHAT! I can watch Launch NOW!! CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!

24 hours of internet access and 24 hours of non-stop video clips!! ALRIGHT!!!

JOJO, HILARY, MAROON 5! Can life get any sweeter!?

Owh yeah it can! But its sweet now!

So yeah! I'm like so pshyched! I'm watching endless videoclips now! WOO HOO!! But I have some problem with this stupid thing and its kinda ANNOYING!! But I'm still able to see those videos so no problem!

Me, Afiq and Adli jammed lagu SHE WILL BE LOVED today! It was the best! I played guitar as I know the chords and Afiq don't, and Afiq knows the drumming and I don't. So we just switched roles. It was FUN! Adli sang the song and the teacher played bass. It was the coolest! I LOVE JAMMING!! and I'm not all that bad in drums today. Even though I didn't touch the drum sticks at all the whole week. YUP YUP!

And again! I switched my guitar! The teacher really should let me play my own guitar! Curse the strings! They just HAVE to be out of tune! HAIh.. So I don't know when I'm gonna exchange it back! I can't even call Kak Siti to tell her it happened again. Its embarrassing! So I'm just gonna walk in the room looking all cool, exchange my guitar and come out like nothing happened! Wish me luck!

I cannot study the whole of today! Ok, I did a little in the morning but that was that! When I got back from parade i did a little of science. OK OK! So maybe its not that bad but after 5 I couldn't. I played computer. I even played Ajin's gameboy after dinner as I couldn't bring myself to study. Sucky ain't it? Owh well..

And its the 18th today! I can't believe I wasn't aware about it. Well, we couldn't do anything anyway. I guess we're only celebrating on Monday. We don't even know what to do.

So anyways. Thats how today was. Mama, Ayong and I planned to go watch Puteri Gunung Ledang tonight but can you believe thats it booked all out!? Well, in a way its believable! I haven't seen Cinderella Story though. Which btw, is a bummer on account that Atikah and Ayong have seen it and they're not exactly Hillie's big fan anyways. Well Atikah is Chad Michael Murray's but still! The story is about HER!

Anyways, they said the movie sucked. And I think I know why. COZ CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY is in it! I'm sorry I just really really despise him! I mean! I know I'm suppose to be falling for these kind of guys you know, the Hollywood Hotties like that, but CMM is just WRONG! I just couldn't bring myself to like him.

Now Adam Levine is a different story! And what about the lead singer of Yellowcard! OMG! He's so cute! Especially in Ocean Avenue. MY GOD! And of course, theres the wonderful Daniel Radcliffe! And theres my Bernard over here in Malaysia. Now THESE people are worth going GA-GA for. Not Chad Michael Murray! EEWW!!

I did get my SIMS 2 today! But Abah banned it until after PMR! And Shahir already start playing it. Whatever it is la! I'm mad at Shahir right now! He insulted me. It hurt. He's suppose to be Gordo right. I don't care la..

I'm officially in love with yellowcard now and I'm gonna buy the CD soon! Count on that!! OK I gotta go now. I'm going to watch Fly anotehr time and I'm going to go to sleep thinking about what I forgot and Hilary Duff.

- 'any moment, everything can change'

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 11:19 pm | 2 Comments

understanding of LIFE!

Truthfully, you can never be whole without your dark side. Everyone handles it differently, some people, they write, some talk, some just keep it inside. Some do stupid desicions like cutting themselves just to make them feel better. Albeit, it does make you feel better. It's like leaving a scar outside your body to heal the one inside because you can't feel and see the one inside.

But you got to understand that you can't just do it because you think it's cool or it's fun. That's probaly the most stupid reasons I've ever heard. I've come to accept the fact that I can't do that anymore so I handle it differntly now. I write, I talk. More than I I mean. But one thing we teenagers are allowed to do during the time of our adolences years is to branch out and try new things but they just got to understand that some things that hurt them shouldn't even be tried. Like smoking, or cutting yourself..whatever goes.

And the one thing our parents have to do is to tell us the consequences of what will happen if you do this and this. They can't stop us from doing it but they've got the power to make us see and make us realize. You will know that your parents brough you up right when you understand right from wrong. You may see what your parents are trying to do as if they're controlling you, but they're really not. They're just trying to make you the best person you can be.

copywright : hamiza's blog,

Saturday, September 18, 2004
Realizations and truth

- I just think what she's saying is SO RIGHT!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 5:37 pm | 1 Comments

Thursday, September 16, 2004

one super cool STRONG chica!!

listening to : my cousin screaming
mood : fine
current status : proud of meself!


I still remember a few nights ago, I had trouble falling asleep. I was doing my KH latihan and was feeling sleepy. GOD ITS KH AT ABOUT 10PM WHAT DO YOU EXPECT!!? anyways.. I decided to pack everything up and go to sleep. When I was lying on my bed , with the lights off, I just couldn't fall asleep. Its really weird. I'm just lying there, restless. You know me, I get restless easily. Just today, when the teacher was discussing about the BM paper, and I actually got up in the middle of everything and walked all the way to the toilet just for the sake of walking.. I got there and turned and came back. I couldn't stand it!

So I laid there for about an hour when I couldn't stand it anymore. I got up and decided to continue my KH as I knew it will make me sleepy. So I did. And Yes! I got sleepy! So I packed my books and tried to fall asleep again! GOD! WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!! I don't remember what happened and eventually I felt asleep! I didn't know what happened.

I woke up the next morning to bangun sahur. But my tekak was in the condition where even though I drink, it will still feel sore and dry. So that just sucks! And I had like 2 cawans full of air kosong. From my cawan and its really tall the cawan! But its still dry.

Usually me and Diana don't PJ. And today especially I don't want to. PUASA DUH!! But the teacher had us played 'AIS AND WATER' do you guys remember this game!? I LOVE THIS GAME DULU!! and I still love it now! So at first I thought it was silly to still play that gaem but we were forced to do it so I tried playing it.


But yeah, I was running arounds the WHOLE padang mind you! Running away from Ices and Watering all those freezed Waters! Hahahahha! It was DAMN FUN! One of the funnest day I had in a few days now. Me being my perky self, I shrieked really loud when I played the game. You know running away in hope that I wouldn't get freezed. IT WAS FUN FUN FUN!!!!!!

But I got so tired when I got back from the padang and was resting gila. We didn't wanna change coz we were sweating hard and stuff. But just that, the fact that this day, I was being OVERLY OVERLY perky! More then ever! I was really loud, and constantly screaming on the top of my lungs! Last period, me and Diana got so bored we got into a game called 'Draw The Tail On The Donkey'.

I drew a so-called donkey (which in both our opinions, DOES NOT AT ALL LOOK LIKE ONE) and we were to draw a tail on its ass. There was a pin-point on the ass and who drew the nearest line to the point, wins. We had 5 tries each and we were asked to close our eyes. Diana won and was named 'KING OF THE DONKEYS'. Then we saw a paper flew in front of our eyes and we raced to grab the paper and I won, and was crowned ' KING OF THE PAPER CATCHING' Hahahhaha! We were being really riduiculously Crazy! Never seen this part fo Diana before. And on the way to rehat, from Pulau Ketam to the canteen, we were playing.. squishing and tickling! Me, Miza, Atikah, Diana and Shameen was getting each other, all the way to the canteen. We were shushed by Aie but we didn't care.

And Shahrul and I bet that one of us has to get the other by splashing water at the other's face. And I got him. Apparently he forgot that we even bet! So I WON!!! It was one of the greatest day for me. I was sooo perky and loud. And I was puasa-ing and tekak kering! So CUN KAN!

And I made it through the day. I finished my puasa and was complimented by Mama for succeeding.

The next day, I woke up at about 3 o'clock in the morning as I felt really thirsty. Really. It was kind of weird but I had a drink and baru had my Isyak prayers. I also did Solat Hajat. But my back hurt REALLY REALLY BAD!! I don't know why. IT WAS REALLY BAD! And my legs were numb from yesterday running around as I didn't even stretch. It still hurts now.

I was doing everything I can to get rid of the pain on my back. I did a few excercises, even did some sit ups and stuff. But nothing worked. So I end up sleeping on the floor as it is a flat surface. I didn't even use a bantal. IT WAS NOT COMFORTABLE I TELL YAH! NOT AT ALL!!

I woke up at about 5.50am to sahur. I ate my potato bread downstairs and I went upstairs to get a book to read while getting ready to show down on my second piece of potato bread. Mama came out form her room and said that azan was over and I can't eat or drink anymore. I was all moaning coz I didn't even get to drink! GOD! I was planning to skip puasa for that day but was afraid that I didn't have enough time to ganti. So I held on.

But lucky that day, we planned to go to Miza's house for a study group. We stopped at Syed for lunch but I wasn't very hungry. Just thirsty and tired. When we got to miZa's house, I got to see a lot of video clips online. OCEAN AVENUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! I finally got to see the song's videoclip! FINALLY! AND IT BEING MY MOST FAVOURITE-EST SONG EVER, I WAS HAPPY! I even got to see Jojo's clip and Ashlee's Shadow clip. AND THE BEST OF THEM ALL WAS HILRY DUFF'S FLY!! IT WAS GOOD! IT WAS BEST!!

We spent time studying at miza's and pranked called atikah! HAHAHAH! We also gave her no choice but to let us go visit her house. OMG! YOU SHOULD SEE HER HOUSE!! ITS LIKE! ONE OF THE POSSIBLE HOUSES THAT I MIGHT BE HAVING AS MY OWN ONE DAY! SERIOUS!! I LOVE IT! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! Its so classic and stuff! And you should see atikah's hair! I couldn't believe it was her but it was pretty! I LOVE YOUR HOUSE ATIKAH!!

Then I went back to pray Asar and actually wanted to take a nap before I got to tuisyen even though we should already be there by then. But I didn't and only god can imagine how TIRED I was on the way there and even when I was there. I menguap like 10 000 times! My eyes were watering like hell!

But when I got back I did get to eat Viennetta! NICE ICE CREAM!!!! One that I ahve been craving to eat for 5 years now! YES! I SAID 5! So again I did it! I got through another puasa day, dehydrated, walking around 2 parts of Subang Jaya and having my legs numb.


See today! I walked to school. Came back to my place to change and went to Syed. then to miza's house. Then to ATikah's house, then back to my house, then to tuisyen centre! GOD! And the distance between each places is NOT just 2 yards away! IT WAS FAR!!! UNDER THE HOT HOT SUN!! FASTING!!

OK OK! I think I made my point. So yeah thats it! And I had pizza just now! So all is fine. I gtg sleep now. I gotta wake up earlier tomorrow so I can drink a little! Bye.

- strong, loud and I'M PROUD!!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 10:36 pm | 1 Comments

Sunday, September 12, 2004

first comes FIRST!

hey guys.. just wanna say that if you read my blog.. I think its better to read the pasrt one of any posts first even though the part 2 comes first. that way you would understand better. I know you guys must have thought about it already but I just wanna remind you. thanks.

- first things first right!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 5:22 pm | 0 Comments

certified WORST day of my 14 years of living - part 2

I really didn’t have anything to do. At one point, I just sat at my place and yes.. I took a good look. I was looking at my class. I’m really looking.

- The chinese girls group crowding the teacher to discuss tehir papers

- Melisa and Vidya was talking together

- Nawal and Nadhirah giggling about something

- Zahra, Grace and Sangeeta cooked up in one of their Crap talks

- Shahrul, Shafiq and Omar bruting at their corner laughing on jokes

- The chinese boys were talking about football

- Jea Mie, Yan Qi, Kah Yew and Hon Lin was playing all those silly games they always play

- Yee Xian and Xin Yi chatting and laughing.

- Sachin was walking around the class and playing with his ahir

- Ling Hui and Issabell was reading books and talking a little.

- Diana and Izzati was not there.

I was staring at my class and was smiling. I just thought, I realize, how much I love my class, and will miss them if I go to Asrama once upon a day to come. Haih.. I was waiting for Diana and Izzati coz I thought we could send the paper slips together. That is after I sms-ed Shahid and climb up the bukit again to get the copied papers.

I spent 2 periods in class looking around, walking likean insane person, playing with my scissors! Shahrul was giving me a weird look when he sees me twiddling with the scissors though. Ntah-la..

I couldn’t stay in class anymore. So I got up and went to the toilet. Miza wasn’t in her class so I went back to mine. While I was walking back to class, in the middle of the field, I stopped and thought.

-Diana and Izzati is together somewhere

-Miza with Shameen

-Gg with Atikah

-Ainul and Tasnim

And I realize. I was with no one. Alone. A girl who didn’t get enough sleep, who was crying her eyes out the night before, the 14 year old who was pening and was insane. The girl. Me. I was alone in the middle of the field. Going to the toilet just for the sake of getting out of the class. I felt lonely.

I ajaked Melisa to teman me to the Kaunseling Room to meet Encik Harun. Izzati and Diana was there. Haih.. I just got ready everything and gave it to the teacher. When I got back to class, the two girls got back too only for me to find out that I have to have a photostated copy of my id-term results. GOD!!

I asked the teacher for my report card but she said to do her latihan first. So I did. That took my mind of the world for a while. Then the 3 of us went to Bilik Guru to get my report card. And also a sijil from Mr. Jaacob for taking part in the debate competition last year.

We went to the toilet afterwards to call Shahid to help me photostat again. Apparently he didn’t answer. When I got out of a toilet, a penagwas was asking me for my phone. I was at the edge of my tears. I was begging her to let me go. Juts for that day for the whole emergency crap! I was off the hook which is good. But I am under watch now.

We went to the canteen later. I haven’t had a bite since last night. So I kinda rushed to the canteen so I could at least have a minute or two to get some fries. Nope! The bell rung! I ran to get the keropok. I didn’t even feel like it. But what can I do? We did meet Encik Jaafar along the way and he said I got a C for my Sejarah! CRAP!!

I went to the bilik Kaunseling again to get some stuff from the teacher. He asked us to photostat this other paper slip and we were allowed to hand the forms tomorrow. That’s a relief. So I got back to class and En. Jaafar was already in. I just dump everything on my table and grabbed my Sejarah booka nd pencil box and sat next to Melisa. With my keropok which GOD I so didn’t feel like eating but I was hungry!

So I didn’t get a C for my Sejarah. But its not an A either. Another Lowsy B! Haih..

So we just discussed the paper. The table I was using didn’t have the desk drawer but ada just plank jer.. and its like not wide enough. But me being my not-thinking-far self, I put my keropok on it in hope that t won’t fall. So I makan mcm biasa la.. Yes! In front of the Guru Disiplin Sekolah but he dind’t see it I think.

And at one point, I kinda jumped up and my keropok jatuh. And the whle inside came out. GOD! I couldn’t believe it. This time, I was really depressed! I was practically whining.. My day was just horrible! I got up form that seat and stomped to my own place. I just buried my face in arms.

I packed my bag and realize that the original copy of the things Shahid photostated for me (which is VERY VERY important), was not with me!

GOD I FREAKED OUT LIKE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!! The teacher was teaching in front and I was standing up, shouting at the other side of the class to Diana asking if I gave it to her. She said no! OMG! I WAS AT ALL END! I remembered I left it in the Bilik Kaunseling so I just dashed out of the class! Running mind you! And if that’s not any worse. I ran and my handphone came out from my pocket! It was laying there on the ground. It was a good thing I realize something fell, or else ther goes my handphone.

So it was banged on the ground yang berpasir and it was kinda rosak! GOD! My life couldn’t get any worse! So I just ran to the Bilik Kauseling. You cannot imagine how tired my feet was. It was numb but I kept running for it. I have to have that froms I left. Its more important than me breaking my legs. At least they made it seem that way!

When I rushed back to class, I almost fainted. It was really hot! I was having a bad headache and my perut hadn’t had anough food, nor did I have enough sleep for energy. I was ready to just ready shoot myself in the head then. GOD! I settled in my seat and was just laying there at my place. I really felt like dying then. I packed my bag and took out my KH question paper since heck I’m NOT paying attention for Sejarah! Not after I ran a million miles to the other side of school and back again with baju kurung under the hot sun!


When its time to go back I just sat at our bench and just felt tired but really holding on in front of my friends. But it was better when I got back.

Things was just fine. I was a lot better at home. Playing internet, Makan! But not until that BEAST came to me!

Let me tell you about a story of a Beast who came to me while I was eating and it CHOW down on my food! Here I was happily eating my nasi with kurma ayam and PAPADAM! I love those lauk! So I put my plate on the floor and watched tv while eating them. And at one point 9while I was watching Fairly Odd Parents btw. Isyh, mengacau je), a fucking cat came up to me, and I am UPSTAIRS, and me being my 'I-am-disgusted-by-cats-and-I'm-sorry-to-anyone-who-loves-cats-but-I-just-DON'T-LIKE-THEM' self.. I jumped out from the floor and shrieked. Yeah yeah! I did! I ran to Ajin's room and was screaming Kakak's name when that cat happily eat my ayam! And there I was happily enjoying it about a few seconds ago. I tried shoo-ing it off but it won't budge!


and I was saving my Papadams to eat after I finished my nasi as the Papadams kakak fried was limited. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So kakak came up and spanked the cat with rotan and it came to me. TO ME!! It went under Ajin's bed, and I was on his bed. I was practically jumping up and down screaming to Kakak to get it away from me. I ran down to comfort Imran who was crying. Damn that cat!


So I had to stop halfway through my lunch as it has been infected by the cat's SALIVA!!


<>And I hadn't even finish eating it to the point where I go 'that was nice Papadams and I'm full' GOD!!

But after that was ok! I was just Relaxing on my bed under the air-cond. It was good! And especially meeting my sister. Miss her a lot.

it may not sound as bad as it it. But it was BAD!!

- Why am I not dead!? That’s better ain’t it?

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 2:10 am | 0 Comments

certified WORST day of my 14 years of living

Listening to : Ashlee Simpsons – Giving it All Away

Mood : ok.

Current Status : berpeluh

Hear yee’! Hear yee’!

On behalf of Farisa Roslan, I am here to announce that 10th September 2004 is certified the WORST day of her life!

Yeap!! It is! Halfway through school I was ready to faint in the middle of the SERIOUSLY HOT padang. Ok Ok!

Let me tell you a little story of a 14 year old girl who ‘I think lost a few pounds because she walked around the whole damn school the whole day’..

We begin with the night before…

Ok! I was really hungry when I got back from tuisyen coz I was fasting that day. The first thing I got my hands on was the Nasi Goreng kakak made for me that afternoon on account that she didn’t know I was fasting.

I spent about 30 minutes just eating. After Mama got back from sending Ajin to tuisyen and to the convenient store to buy Tauge or something, she was preparing the room to put Imran to sleep. Seeing me still eating (and in front of the tv too.. What do you expect!? And Cow at the MOO-vies happened to be showing about A Cinderella Story, of course I will be stuck to the tv screen), and me asking for my sijils that I oh-so-collected through the whole 3 years of being in form school, she got mad!

She made me wait for adik to sleep before I can look for it in her room. I doiubt that was such a good idea but who’s the mom here!! So I got into my room and basically stared at blank space! What am I suppose to do? I’m without my sijils to actually do anything.

After I made sure Adik is asleep. That’s about 9 pm, I woked Mama up to ask her where she put my sijil and she got mad because I didn’t look for it when Adik was not asleep yet! Like hello! Didn’t I mention that earlier? Well. Again! She’s the mom! So we had to buka lampu and cari dat damn thing! I found it in like 3 minutes so whatever-la-kan.

I locked myself in my room to pick these sijils that can be used. And I found out that the only thing I have is my Taek-Won-Do certificates. Damn! And the whole night I spent calling people to ask about my Pengakap Sijil that was lost! Haih.. At the time I need it most!

Ling Hui helped me to an alternative for the sijil so I spent that night writing letters.

God Help Me!

At about 11.30, Mama and the rest of the Mengaji group was downstairs eating dinner. I went down and told Mama I have to get these stuff photostat-ed and I need J forms and her Salary Surat thingy. She went berserk!

Mom quote :-


And I thought my aunts could be a great source of help. They were help alright. Help to make you feel worse!! God! I was crying the whole time. And that night I happened to be ‘emotionally hurt’. Haih.. I just sat in my room crying coz I felt so helpless. Mama said that I could delay the time to give that thing if not, forget about going to asrama. And she said it in that ‘I’m dissapointed’ tone..



I ran to my room and cried and grabbed my jangka lukis. Then Mama came in with the J forms and the Salary Thingy.. And she sort everything out. I felt so relief that time. When I think that everything will be alright. After Abah printed those letters, I had to make a few changes to the thing. I ended up sleeping at about 2.00am. Eyes puffy and stomach grumbling.

I woke up early the next day coz I need to meet Ling Hui at school at school by 7.10 to find Cikgu Aziz to sahkan my letters. But too bad he hasn’t come yet. So what I did was walked really really slow to class. My head was hanging and I was looking down. I was sleepy.

I got to class and I got ready to meet Cikgu Aziz. All my friends were heading to the surau but I was going the other direction. Shahrul walked me to the bilik guru. He was pretty upset with me because of this thing I did that he didn’t like. Shahrul! I’m not sorry for doing it! But I’m sorry that you’re mad!

I got Cikgu Aziz’s pengesahan and stuff. When I got back to class, I rested my head on my table for a while. I didn’t get anough sleep apparently so I was pretty tired. But I had to get my butt up to Agama Class so I called Shahid with my handphone (Yes! I brought it to school and purposely too mind you!),and asked him to help me photostat all these sijils coz he has a photostat machine. So I had to clim the gunung kat belakang Blok Flora to give him the stuffs.

Then thinking about my bed, I made my way to Agama Class. I got there and was very tired. Lucky I got an A for my Agama. A fit 75! At least that didn’t worsen my mood. But I wasn’t really paying attention to her discussing the paper for about 5 minutes. God I wished I could’ve layed down on the surau’s floor and golek-golek, maybe catch a nap but there were guys there. Damn!

Ustazah added 2 marks for my Agama coz she tertanda salah and stuff. And Shahir was pretty jealous coz I beat him by 2 mark. And his 2 marks to get 75 was pity mark (I think). But still…

Izzati and Diana went out to meet Puan Sakinah. I wanted to sleep a rest so I didn’t go with them. I did chat with Ustazah for a while. She’s pretty cool. Then I made my way back to class. It may just be me but I think I was wlaking slower then I did at the starting of the school. And GOD! Its slow.

We got our Sains paper today. 2 lowsy B’s.. Haih.. But somehow, I didn’t have any feelings towards the whole thing. Na-Da. I mean, yeah I was upset I didn’t get A but its more a ‘whatever’ than a ‘shit!’.. And that was pretty bad.. But I didn’t have mood for anything really.

- and this not the worst part yet!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 2:08 am | 1 Comments