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Thursday, November 25, 2004

the HUNDRETH!


its nothing big or anything, but I just wanna say that my blog has celebrated its 100 visitor. WooHoo!! cookies for everyone!!!

- keep it coming babey!!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 9:10 am | 0 Comments

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

boulevard of BROKEN dreams


I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk away!

- I walk alone..

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 4:39 pm | 0 Comments

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

jog the BLOCK


listening to : boulevard of broken dreams - green day
mood : not so good
current status : PMS

is there ever in the history of farisa ever you heard me saying I went for jogging? well.. now you have!

thats right!!! its only yesterday night when I decided I wanted, needed to do this.

ok. I was having pms that night, and at one point, with the whole feeling hot and stomach ache, I decided to go for a jog!

I feel like I neede a time out for myself. A time to take a deep breathe, good morning breeze, me alone, thinking about life.. all the what ifs and if only-s.. and how lucky I am.. and how much my life could get better. and everything else..

ok.. note. if you want to go for a jog the next day, SLEEP EARLY!!! sleeping at 2 doesn't help but what the hey. then when I woke up for prayers at 6.30, I told ma and pa that I'm going for a jog that morning. Ma asked me to invite Tikah too as she wouldn't much agree to the fact that 1 14 years old girl like me to walk alone.

But Tikah don't want to go, which I was actually glad of because like I said, I need a time for myself.

despite not having enough sleep, and am tired, I pushed myself to do this! I'm always saying that I would do something, but end up not doing because my lazy fuck off ass wouldn't get up! so this time, I had to do what I said I would.

I put on my new red shirt, and my sweat pants, a cap and my running shoes. which at this time, is already pretty tight. I put my phone in the pocket, stuck my earphones in my ears and there I go, going down the hill.

I ended up doing 7 rounds around the whole school. whats funny is that I usually couldn't stand 2, and here I am, 7 rounds! And when I finished the second round, my legs weren't even complaining one bit. Except for my foot, it hurts a little by the tightness.

I managed to do a lot of thinking the whole time. And it feels good to walk there, alone, and the morning breeze.. I feel free!! I had my time out! It feels really good! I love the feeling. The freeness. All I had to care about then is to dodge the cars and the dogs. Hahha. And Yellowcard playing on the walkman, nothing is better. I felt so relaxed then.

I am going to go for another jog tomorrow. But the only way I cna make it to 19, is if Tikah comes with me. And dang, how much I'd like to spend time with her, what is she suppose to do when I am spending a little time with shahrul. BITE ME!!!

But whatever it is, I am waking up early tomorrow to gor for anotehr jog. And so will I nthe next day, and the next, and the next, and the next, and the next, and the next.. up until I am happy with the level of my weight. rephrase, up until I'm up to the level of which shahrul says I could be. owh well.. I'm still losing weight.

And btw, I got Yellowcard's album Ocean Avenue after waited for so long. The songs are AWESOME. For those of you, I reccomend strongly to download the song Life of a Salesman from them. You'll like it. And also Boulevard of Broken Dreams form Green Day.

I also can play Time of Your Life by Green Day. Love the song.

-I'm going for a 10 now!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 9:28 pm | 0 Comments

Monday, November 22, 2004

hari RAYA!!!


Listening to: Breathing – Yellowcard
Mood : okay
Current Status : annoyed by this hotness!

Hari Raya was pretty fun!!!

So Mama did it again!! She woke me up early in the morning despite the fact that I slept real late last night. I knew the first thing I had to have my hands on were the food on the table that is always always ready whenever I wake up! I brushed my teeth and sat abruptedly at the dining table and ate lemang! Good old lemang with the Rendang Ayam I made. It was good!!!

Ayong was already halfway through her plate when I joined her. And both of us were just sitting there, not having a care in the world. Eating lemang and other Raya goodies. Until Mom shooed me to the bathroom for a shower since we had to be going to the surau nearby for the sembahyang Raya we do every year.

By the time I was done, the other women were already ready to go! So I had to rush through everything! And Ayong was complaining on hom she hadn't even had time to mandi yet and we're already suppose to go. We were both really going berserk over the whole thing. After that, I realize I hadn't take air sembahyang so I had to take off my telekung to do that and rush to car to go.

When we got there, they already started the praying. Both of us just joined them, not even knowing if what we did were counted as sah or not. And we were both complaining on the way back. After that, it was the guys' turn to go for prayers, so the women had time to stay at home before they get back. I was straightening and crimping my hair whilst waiting. Even Mama agreed that the straightening looked nice. She braided my hair a little and beautified it.

After that, the guys came back and we were getting ready for our traditional ask for forgiveness moment. This is what we always do. Usually it starts of with my grandmother asking for forgiveness over my granpa. then It'll be my dad since he's the oldest. Followed by my mom and then they will ask forgiveness from my grandma before they take their seats so that my uncle could do the same thing. So its like that until the very youngest one. So usually it takes a long time. And especialy now that my Family has expended.

And unlike every year, this time I did it. Wait let me rephrase that. This time, I didn't do it. I didn't cry!! I managed to hold back my tears. Actually, there were no tears at all. I don't feel like crying. I don't feel what I feel always. I know I'm sorry but its.. not.. there... YISHK!! Well, I managed to ask for forgiveness from Pak Su though I so think he should've done the same thing.
But anyways, my 8 year old cousin Aida was crying madly. Like how I was when I was 8. Crying as if she just did something hugely wrong like killing somebody. Where as she's only so 'perfect' for the adults. WHATEVER!! Its pretty funny imagining I was once upon a time like that. It disgusts me. Hahahha!

It was all good up until I got to Mom, who I saved for the last one. I started crying the minute I kneeled down. God!! Whats wrong with me! But she's MOM you know. So its all different!!! After that, all of us went to do our own thing. And basically end up gathering in front of the tv to Puteri Gunung Ledang. I seriously didn't have the mood to watch it though tried hard as I could.

And then the whole family went to Tok Cho's house. He's our relatives. We go there every first day of Raya. When we got there, the 'anak daras' aka me, Ayong, Along, Tikah, Kak Ju and Kak Azza sat at one corner of the wooden house and only had each other to talk to. Which is not really a problem with me. And then, we went to Chu Era's house. She has the BEST murukus ever made! I love her tempeyeks! Yum!!! We spent a pretty long time there.

The adults were having fun chattering, while the kids were left feeling miserable and restless there doing nothing. Theres no tv. The only thing we could do is sit there and talk to each other. Which at one point could get tiring too. We were playing 'guess whats in my mind' with my 6 years old cousin who's really cute when we play this game. At one point, even that was not so exciting anymore, I was just getting really restless.

When we got back, I just spent timewandering around the house, trying to figure out what to do. And end up reading a book and wasting my time. Happy Raya eyh!?

- Selamat Hari Raya. Kami Ucapkan kepada semua.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 1:28 pm | 0 Comments