Monday, November 27, 2006

a moment of RELEASE

I guess that move on missing English Literature last class wasn't exactly the best one.

I have to admit that it is a great weight off my shoulders but an even bigger weight replaced it. My worrying about the quality of my answers. Mama often say, forget about that past and don't do the same for the coming papers, But how could I just let go!?

It wasn't exactly monstrously horrible. Maybe a little to the fact that we were battling time. But that has always been the factor or bad writings, sucky answers and meaningless words in the paper. But I mean, this is SPM, screwing up and hope for the better next time, IS NOT LONGER AN OPTION.

there is no next time. there is no space for sucky-ing. And that is why I am really scared. Shahrul claimed I get worried about the littlest thing and that I don't have enough confidence in myself. True to an extent I suppose. But come on, how could I not. this determines my future. Regardless of my going to further my English Literature studies or otherwise, the fact that its an A or a B would effect my chance of a scholarship. I can only cry.

I counted my confidence rate for English Literature. possible an A but I do not know how my SPM examiner would be. Stricter. More linean!? how the hell do you spell that anyway!?

I am scared. And my agama paper didn't exactly scream A1 as well. I am a failure and an embarassment to orang ISlam sejagat dan penuntut subjek bahasa inggeris.


- owh wait no need. add maths will do the job tomorrow.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 5:13 pm | 3 Comments