Wednesday, November 03, 2004

freezing HOT

listening to : the corrs - only when I sleep
mood : not so good
current status : bored and cold.

I haven't been feeling so good lately. No not because I have no junk food in my stomach whatsoever.

After sahur, I felt uncomfortable. PLus I am sleepy too. I actually felt sick.

I would usually wake up at about 7 am so I could take care of my brother and stuff. But today, I woke up late! 8.30am!! And that is because I had a phone call from Melisa. Or else I would still be in slumber land. I'm not blaming Melisa for waking me up. I'm glad actually. I couldn't sleep anymore longer.

But I felt real tired after that. I felt weak too. Sigh.

Moving on with my life, I played the computer. But I felt cold this morning. So I put on my black coloured jacket. And whats weird, and actually freaked me out, is that it was already 11 am and I'm still feeling cold. Even with my jacket on and the fan is not even on. I got scared.

Here's the deal. I don't know why but I have been feeling real cold lately. Easily cold. Usually the fan on number 3 would still not satisfy my level of coolness, but one day in a few weeks ago, I got a running nose over a number 3 fan.

So I decided to settle in for a number 2 the next night. And I felt cold. I ahd to sleep under a comforter. Feeling weird, I tried for one. Still needed a blanket. So usually now, I sleep with the fan off. Or wrapped tight under the warmth of my comforter. I thought it was normal. I mean, just another one of those 'weird-things-that-happens-in-your-life-that'll-just-blow-over-in-a-few-days'

Well, wanna know what!? IT HAS BEEN A FEW DAYS. Almost 2 weeks now I think. And its freaking me out! PLus my guitar teacher took a look at my palms and went disgusted. He said he was freaked out by the fact that my palms are so pale. Like theres no blood. And what freaks me out even more is that HE'S RIGHT!!!

Its pale! Plain pale. As if blood doesn't even flow there. I am now in a not so good condition. Mama planned to take me to the clinic. Its not a normal thing that happens to me. Never happened to anyone in my family before. But then I have a record of having the weird diseases in the family.

And now, to make things worse. I still feels cold easily (but can now survive fan), but I feel tired and weak easily. Also get constant stomach grumbling (though this is understandable) and dizzy-ness. Need cool air.

But sometimes, if I did on the fan, I'd be freezing. But if I don't, I'd be too hot!! Jacket doesn't help anymore. I mean, if I put on a jacket and being under a no. 1 fan, I'd still be hot, but if I wear a jacket under a no. 2, I'd be cold. So I'm currently debating on what temperature my room should be. NOT GOOD!!

is this a sign of something bad? I sure hope not. I'm actually refusing to go to the doctor. What if it IS something bad? ONe that has no cure. I'm not sure if I'd want to know that I'd be dying. Puts me down yah now! BUt then again, I'd have time to beribadah more. Sigh..


I'm going to go watch Harry Potter PoA now. In my room, wrapped around under the warmth of my comforter with a no. 2, and the lights off.

Pray that I'll be better soon and let it be a 'weird-things-that-happens-in-my-life-that'll-just-blow-over-in-a-few-weeks'


- no. 1 too hot, no. 2 too cold. is there a 1 1/2?

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 11:26 pm | 3 Comments


I added a few pictures of the last day of school. Just scroll down a little and you'll see them. thanks.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 4:52 pm | 0 Comments

down the VALLEY!!

listening to : bonnie mckee - somebody
mood : still okay
current status : cold. plain cold. and its 11 am.

My Friday was just another normal day. My saturday was normal too. I did get to jam the song 'Every Breathe You Take' by Sting. The rock version. It was kind of cool though. My Sunday was boring.

And so was my other days. There is nothing to do. The only thing I look forward to do everyday is playing the computer. And that tend to get tiring at one point. Besides, the only thing I do is play Solitaires. Even Sims2 don't interest me anymore.

I just finished a Meg Cabot. Boy Meets Girl. The story is pretty adult-ish. Heavy issues and stuff. I don't mean sexually. But it was a pretty good book. Sure its not my usual favourite, teenage girl point of view. But it makes you realize some parts of life you know.

How a person can be such a two-faced bitch. How Pi-Delts girls (in the book) don't accept Jews. But will still marry them for money. How a person can be such a good baker. How lesbianic is such a disgrace to some poeple. How a mother cares more about her status than her children. How a person can go crazy over too much BArney. How a musician can write real sucky songs and come up with a name as bad as 'I'm Not Making Any More Sandwhiches'. How a person's life can really go low. And how lucky she could be when she meets a good guy.

And stuff and stuff..

But now I have nothing to do. Books finished. I did borrow Miza's book. But i don't feel like reading it now. All I can do everyday is just dread myself. Sigh...

I'm gonna go play Solitaire now. AGAIN!!

- Somebody LIGHT UP MY LIFE!!!!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 10:48 am | 0 Comments

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

school TRIP!

listening to : nothing
mood : pretty good
current status : HOT!!!!!!! (my jaw hurts)

I'm actually missed. Well not me exactly, but my blog. My 3 girlfriends actually came up to me requesting me to update. I'm thrilled. I wouldn't actually be writing a post right now if my friends hadn't asked for it.

And also if I still hadn't had the mood.

Which I so do now!

What happened?

God knows..

Well, life hasn't exactly been a 5 star rated blockbuster. Its more of a, movie you watch when you're really desperate to watch a movie. ANY movie.

Its been boring.

After we had our Last Day of School Bonanza, the next day, we spent our day at KLCC. Me and my girlfriends joined a school trip to Petrosains. So I was excited over this whole thing. Me being me of course. When I got to school, I could see my friends in school attire looking ready. I got more excited. I mean, WE'RE GOING FOR A SCHOOL TRIP!!!

We had to wait for about an hour at school before we actually board the bus. We ended up going in seperate buses. Gg and Atikah in one, Hamiza dn Shameen in another, and me, Diana and Izzati in the other. I planned to have like a singslong in the bus as WE'RE GOING FOR A SCHOOL TRIP!! I got real jumpy in there that I actually bonked my head on the bus's roof. Hurt!

Instead of the whole singing catastrophy, me and the girls ended up listening to Diana talking about a cute boy she met, and taking pictures. And me being jumpy still. When I got there, when I stepped out of the bus, the first thing that came to mt mind was.. 'What Have I Gotten Myself Into?' GAH!!!

Before we got into Petrosains was HELL!!! Its as if we're walking around in an empty mall with no shops open and nothing to do. Wait. We WERE walking around in an empty mall with no shops open and nothing to do. NOTHING!!

We ended up staying ouside of Kinokuniya waiting for the OPENING. Shameen and I played 'race up the escalator' whilst waiting. SHAMEEN SO CHEATED!! And we both also ride on a kiddy ride with Mr. Happy. Acoording to Gg that was it's name.


When the gate opened, this 2 chinese girl dashed inside as if they're getting into heaven. (which my guess would be heaven for them. Kinokuniya I mean) I was laughing and actually got in when the gate FULLY opened. Its as if I just entered a 5 star hotel as the workers were all lining up along the walkway to greet us. Felt weird. As if I was.. somewhat.. IMPORTANT!! Hahhah!!

'Lets just stay here and pretend we don't know them!' - Atikah

I got bored after the first 10 minutes. I mean, what else can I do!? Magazines. DONE! And I wouldn't want to spend money on magazines anymore. Front page Hilary Duff or no! I am currently lack. (thinking of raya now..) So after that, I came across many MANY Harry Potter merchandise thats I wished to buy. Again the whole.. LACKING.

There was a Meg Cabot hard cover book. Titled I forgot. I was ga-ga-ing over the book. I LOVE MEG CABOT. Not in a lesbianic crazed fan kind of way of course. But I couldn't afford it. So I end up picnic-ing with Gg in front of a bookshelf and going through books. 'Popularity is Everything!' - 'Book for the Depressed' - 'A Girl's Guide to A Guy' and other ridiculous CRAP!!

When we're all done, there was still time before we have to go in. Gg was moping about wanting to buy her credit. And knowing what to expect if we didn't get her credit there and then, I walked her all the way to Guardian (on the lowest floor when we're on the uppest) and got her credit. Also made a friendly conversation with the counter lady person.

We were real late by then. We both ran upstairs and Farah conviniently had to call whist we were running. I had to throw my bag in the locker and run around to give the teacher the phone and get it back, and still get in line. After everything is settled, I waited in line (being freezed to death) and joking around with Shahrul, Anuar and Shameen. (not your typical group, I know..)

I learned a few cool tricks (ok one!) . But still it was cool. Before we boarded on this black egg thingy-majigy and on a somewhat SLOW roller coaster ride. Pretty cool though, but it was (like I said) SLOW!!!

NOW I'm jumpy. I wanted to get my hands on everything I saw. The experiments were all real cool!! I mean, REAL! Who thought science could be so.. FUN!! Owh yeah, I DID!! All those attractions that I could remember..

a. This thing explaining electostatics. Hamiza and I was the guinea pigs.
b. Some hearing wall thingy.
c. An oiled up sand plate thingy
d. A singing dinasour (shahrul's favourite)
e. A few puzzles
f. An elephone
g. A science show (hosted by my good friend Kak Farah)
h. A bed of nails
i. A crawlong tunnel
j. A simulated helicopter
k. A dancing mat
l. A photo booth

Did I mention I made a lot of friends that day! Basically almost all those workers there became my friend at the end of the day. And the best one is Kak Farah. I spent most of the time there with her. She became my good friend at the end of the day. She thanked me for making the day fun and cheery and LOUD. She also saved me for her last act..

'Farisa last sekali. Save the best for last!' - Kak Farah

Even though the last was about popping out a full balloon containing water with a lighter. Heheheh. After Petrosains was sucky.

We went back to Kinokuniya for the girls to purchase their books. Whilst I stayed on the tangga staring at blank space. We all parted. When we were to leave, we couldn't find Diana and Shameen. So we waited for them a little outside but couldn't meet with them. So we decided to just go to Mambo and the Manchester United shop and later on call them up.


(although it is to be replace by the Converse shop, BUT STILL!!)

I've been waiting for a few weeks to go to that shop but its CLOSED!! That totally ruined my mood. Plus I have nothing to spend my money on anymore.

We went to Mambo but found nothing interesting. And then the 4 of us just found a bench to sit on and were calling up Shameen but didn't asnwer. That certainly didn't brighten up my mood. So Gg ended up telling us a story. After that, my little legs got restless that I HAD to walk. We met the 2 girls on the way and decided to go to MArks and Spencer's as the last stop before going back to the bus.

Thats when I decided to shop. Buy things for myself. and SHOP I did. I bought 2 bars of chocolate 'Chocolate Truffles' and 'Fudge' and also a 'Cheese Tasters' and their 'Nacho Cheese'. They were all so good.

We didn't even take pictures as I wasn't in the mood. We boarded the bus just like that. Izzati and Nawal bought a hair clip thingy and looked so nice wearing it. Jealousy strikes again. All the girls were cornering up in the back and bonding. I felt kind of guilty for not joining them and instead sat next to Shahrul. But then again, we had a little problem that I felt like I HAD to sit next to him. Besides, I was only a sit infront of them. I could still hear them talk though. I joined in a little conversation or two.

When we got home, we had a little picture session. All of us were hugging and going lovey dovey mushy gushy 'I'm going to miss you!' stuff. After thats done, I went to send Shahrul home. But on the way, Mama called and asked me to come home immediately as we were to go send Kakak to the bus station. Walking home, I felt tired. I didn't even got a chance to lay down for a moment. NO TIME!! I got home and rushed to the showers and for prayers. Then we went to KL (again) and ate Chicken Rice for buka puasa.

Kakak and us had a little moment. Mom got so into the moment she cried. I just felt like I used up all my tears the day we had our last day of school. But it was sad though. I was too tired to get into the mood. I slept all the way home and straight to bed.

And now enduring with the new maid. GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- 'lets gather round in the bus, and sing the school trip song. the s-c-h-o-o-l t-r-i-p s-o-n-g' I really did sing it.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 11:46 pm | 1 Comments

Monday, November 01, 2004

pieces of ME the remix!

On a Monday, I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
But it didn't ring, I don't hear you
And the darkness, stayed the dark view
And you didn't rescue me

Fall... For you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, but it'll never lasts

It seems like I can never rest my head on something real
I long for the way that feels
It's as if you don't know me better than I ever thought you would
Why can't you ever tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody, messy
I get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care

When I'm angry, you grumble
Make me happy is a request
And you won't start til I'm mad

Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
Well, I hit that bottom
Crash, you're all I have

It seems like I can never rest my head on something real
I long for the way that feels
It's as if you don't know me better than I ever thought you would
Why can't you ever tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

Don't you ever know everything I'm about to say?
Aren't I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face...
Why can't you still understand me.. yeah

On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading from your eyes...
Then I can breathe

It seems like I can never rest my head on something real
I long for the way that feels
It's as if you don't know me better than I ever thought you would
Why can't you ever tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

- my version of the song.

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 8:46 pm | 0 Comments