Saturday, February 05, 2005

the CHILDREN of Roslan Amir and Faridah Abd Rahman

listening to : anthem of our dying day - story of the year
mood : good
current status : hating this big lebam on my forehead

it all started the other day when I got back from school. Sure its everyday that Imran comes running to the door greeting me back. But I guess thats what makes me feel as guilty as I am now. The fact that I don't really feel the excitement of me coming back to him as he does. He'll be running towards the door, and running back just to get the keys and hands it to me.

And what do I do!? I'd go straight to the kitchen, patting his head once, looking out for lunch, and straight up to my room. He'd always be calling out my name from downstairs and all I'd say is.. 'Kejap Lagi Angah Turun'. And hell be crawling all the way upstairs just so he could find me lifting him up to bring im down. And when we reached downstairs, I'll out him down and head for the food. He'll be huging my feet and I'd be smiling at him.

When I got my food, I'd be runnning upstairs to eat. He'll trail me back up. Only so I could send him back down saying I'd play with him after lunch. And after lunch is about 3 o'clock. And by then, I'd be going down to wash my hands and plates, and I'd be running back up to the things I thought were more important. Computer, tv and my handphone. The next time I'd be going downstairs is about 6 o'clock, and either he'd be sleeping or he'd be playing outside with my maid. Usually I wouldn't be bothered and continued with what I was doing before. And at night he'd be spending time with mom.

And one day, he asked me for a glass of water, so I got him one. And while he was drinking, I just stared at him. And thats when it hit me HARD!! I have been neglecting my brother. He gets so bored everyday when we're not home. And when we are home, we don't care for him. A rush of guilt swimming inside my body! I almost cried thinking how mean I am as a sisiter and as a person.

And my brother Nazrin. Well lets just say I don't give a damn about him. And I would say thats an understatement. I do care for him. I just don't show it. I have had shares of times when I realize how mean I am to him. I'd be screaming at him for the little-est things like turning on the computer before even un-doing his socks. How dumb is THAT!!! And I'd always directs him to do my chores and I'd always ALWAYS be telling on him. And he NEVER spills anything wrong that I do behind my mom's back. Crappy how brothers can be!



After 2 motnths of not seeing her, my reaction to seeing her was not as Ithought it would be. Don't ge me wrong, I am extra happy. BUt not to the extend where I screamed the whole airport off. When I saw her 2 partners and not her, I got worried. Wondering where she was. With the two friends, I saw this girl in jeans and a short skirt on top of it. And a sweater with a scarf wrapped around her neck. She was wearing a cap and she look so girly.

When she turned around, how shocked I was to find it was my sister. I was laughing hard when I saw her. She hugged my mom and my mom was laughing madly too. IMran was pointing at my sister to me with a smile. After my sister hugged my mom, she liufted IMran and hugged him tight. Imran looked happy. And then she kissed me. I was so happy.

Smiles flashed on everyone's face. It was a good moment. ON the way back, she couldn't stop talking! NO seriously! I mean it. She said EVERYTHING!! IN FRENCH AT THAT!! At one point, I told her 'SPEAK IN ENGLISH!!!' and she was laughing.

When I got home, we all settled in the living room. When it was presents time, she requested me to sit in front of her and close my eyes. And that I did. When I opened my eyes, there it was. Beautifully in front of my eyes. The sight of it makes me squealed with delight. Sure not as much as I thought I would at the sight of one, but still I liked it. Rephrase! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!


The kind that I have always wanted to have!! Its not in red or else I'd e shrieking harder. BUT ITS SO PRETTY!!! I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!! But its REALLY SHORT!!! Its only up to covering my butt. Just enough. But it was so cute!!!! I was so happy!!!

And she also showed me a piggy bank shaped of a pig in pink. IT WAS THE CUTEST THING!!! OMG OMG!!! ITS SOOO CUTE!!!

-I'll paste pictures if possible-

It was a good moment. After that, I played her I'll Be on guitar. She wasn't touched but she said it was thoughtful. And I decided not to sing the song I wrote for her coming back. Mom said it can't be long as people will be bored waiting for it to finish. And my song SO don't fulfill THAT requirement. So its forgotten. But I plan to play her my other songs. Hope she likes.

She's out finding Nasi Lemak now. Can't wait for it. And I'm home typing, and neglecting my drums practising hours. He's gonna kill me again!! But whatever!!!

So now that my sister is back and on Monday our parents are out for work, I plan for the 4 of us to do somehting though I don't know how I could get this 4 stubborn headed kids of different ages to sit in one room and HAVE FUN!! But usually our idea of fun is making the other person's life miserable. AHahhaha. At certain points it is anyways. I guess perhaps we can just put a feel good song and dance all 4 of us. Whatever it is, the 4 of us, the Roslan family's children, ARE GOING TO BOND!!!!

God help me!!

Farhana Roslan - The smart one! She's the one with the brains and the one whom you're mom goes 'why can't you be more like her' about. Its pretty pressuring to be like her. BUt she's very into her own opinions and she's the responsible one.

Farisa Roslan - The more lazy social one. The one you go 'Clean up your room' to everyday. The one that usually stays all day chatting with friends and caring more about fashion than even knowing the name of the current Education minister. You can't depend on her. Because she tends to mess up. She forgets stuff a lot and she's more into fad. The less smart one.

Muhammad Nazrin - The boy that just so BLAH!! All he does is play the ps2 and watch tv all day. Never does his homework without the company of my mom next to him. He's just so untidy and irresponsible. Very lazy and not so into his studies. The one who likes to go out every evening playing football and in the day he'd be attached to his computer or any sort of games. CANNOT DEPEND ON!!

Muhammad IMran - The baby. The one that everybody turns to when they're mad and they'll be all smiley again seeing the cuteness of a little baby. He's cute no doubt. (just like his sister) But he can be annoying too when he gets TOO ATTACHED TO YOU!!! And he has an act of destroying stuff. I had to sacrifice 2 of my new bought compact powders because of his hands. But he's just so.. baby-ish!

Thats us.


Did I tell you I have a mountain on my forehead. I don't know what the puding it is. Its not pimple because when I pinched it, nothing happened. Its just there, ugly and hurtful. OWH I'M UGLY!!!! It'll go away someday and may someday be soon.

I'm leaving for Bandung in a few days. Not sure when! Either Tuesday or Wednesday. Seriously I feel no excitement to go to this place. NOt looking forward to it at all. All we'd be doing there is shopping. They don't even have a decent swimming pool. Chances are I'll come back with a pair of jeans, and 2 tops and THATS THAT!!!


I better slave myself to my practises now. I don't want to have another nickname from him. Vacuum sucks enough!

- I love you! You love me! We are happy family!!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 11:43 am | 2 Comments

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

hairy DOUGNUT!

listening to : soak up the sun - sheryl crow
mood : okay
current status : feel tired

Owh! Did I tell you I ate a doughnut today ending up seeing a freaking strand of hair INSIDE the doughnut. I practically (almost) BARF!!! I freaked, I shrieked! I went to kecoh mode instantly!! It was DISGUSTING!!! Kept complaining about it! Washed it off with cuts of watermelon and traded it in with another doughnut. Honestly, I DON'T WANT ANOTHER DOUGHNUT! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

I'll never look at doughnut the same way again! Bt then again, the doughnut I traded in for, has been digested in my body! NO hair! And please guys, from this moment on.. THIS INCIDENT NEVER HAPPENED!!!

Had to rush back form school bacuse Dad was going to pick us up to get our passports done. Of course there was no time to eat. And cna you imagine! We were there for 3 FREAKING HOURS!!! And all we get is one measly passport each and our thumbs black with ink!


Ok well I won't be saying the same thing one day when I get to England. SHutting Up!

And we didn't bring ANY sort of entertainment as we were in a rush! No music! No games in my phone! NO NOTHING!! The only thing I could settle for was my brother. EEEWWW!!!

But desperations conquers. I end up interacting with my brother. AND IT DIDN'T TURN INTO A FIGHT. Well occasionally it did, but Dad shushed us off!

There were onl 3 of us by the way.

So we played..
26 stupid words - we went through the alphabets and who cna come up with the most stupidest funniest word of the letter, wins! IMagine the stupdity of the game itself.

Rate the pain - I started pulling a few parts of my brother's body. His ear, his hair, his eyelash, his nose, and I pinched his arm. So he rates the pain of each actions.

Spongebob Quotes - undenialably this is the only thing we do when we actually talk! We started quoting lines from the show and laughing our heads off.

Slap the Freak - we just try to slap each other.

So this all it. In between I kept singing Gg's untitled song, because she sang it to me earlier that day and its STUCK!! 'I do miss you, hold my hand, once again, so plase let me be, baby, with you so I can understand' (sorry if the words are wrong)

We also test our heights. And I bullied him a lot. After the first half of the process, we had to wait for about 2 hours before it was our turn. At one point I got so restless, I feel like having a tantrum. But instead I asked my brother if he remembered my 2nd song. And his reply was 'no!' And I went all 'what about my 1st? 3rd? 4th? 5th? 6th?' GOD YOU CHILD!! 'and he was like, 'SHUT UP!'

So I told him, 'okay Ajin, this is your lucky day, I'm singing you ALL MY 6 SONGS now! you're the only one who gets to hear them all at one time' and he gave me this 'I don't give a damn look!' and I ignored it. So did he to me.

When I told him I finished singing my first song, he said 'you were singing?' GOD YOU BRAT!!!! So I just continued my 2nd song! Which surprisingly was the most funnest one to sing that moment. My voice was behaving well and I had control over it. It doesn't happen always so it was good. The melody of the song fits the voice so I enjoyed it.

But the time I finished my 3rd song, MY SAVE-er arrived! Shahrul called me and we ended up talking for about an hour. That killed the time!! And yes even thought Dad was just behind me, he's too caught up in his news paper. It was weird though because we were talking about the other person's favourite things, and also about stupid songs and farts! AHhahahahah!

When its almost time, Dad told me to get off the phone. I got off laughing. After that I continued singing! 4th, 5th and 6th songs. I think at one point, the lady who was siting in front of me got up and walked away becaue she couldn't get me to stop singing! Now i wonder if it was the voice, or she's just tone deaf! She can't appreciate music!!

When it was our time to get our thumb prints done, we did! AHaahahha. And everythign comes with it and then at about almost 5, we went off!! IMagine how hungry I was! The only thing I ate that day was 1 1/2 doughnut. STARVING!!!

We skipped McDonalds as Ajin had practise, so I ended up eating rice at home. It was GOOD!!! I then continued my homework. BLAR BLAR!! And at night when I actually realized they're DONE!! I cleaned up my room a bit. Changed the comforters and what not. It wasn't all that fair becasue I had to do my sister's share. And the particular comforters were hard to put together. CRAP!

Still have't got through my Add aths tuition homework, or chemistry, or physhics or my English. And I haven't even touched my drums' sticks for almost 2 weeks. I'm gonna suck again! HOMEWORK OVERLOAD. But I'm glad that tomorrow's homework are DONE!!!

Gonna go pack my bag now. Today was tiring but at least... at least... NEVERMIND!!

- owh yeah! at least I got my passport! ENGLAND HERE I COME!!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 1:12 am | 2 Comments

Monday, January 31, 2005


listening to : roses - outkast
mood : normal
current status : DUH!!!!!!!!

I am the meanest girlfriend in the world. understatement?! Perhaps.

so again the canteen was packed with what felt like thousands of people filling in any empty spots in sight. Its hard to even move there. And imagine the aroma! OKay STOP!! DON'T!! Coz its really not pleasant. The atmosphere is very crowded and hot. The sight of people chatting frantically with peers, people lining up in the long lines of buying foods,some playing around, and some may even have a fight, a party or any other stuff.

again the common debation of what to have. nothing in particular strucked in my mind. until the sight of wedges. Yum.. The smell of it melts me. Made my way to the long line. The air sufficates me. Guessing the condition of the situation has to be endured by me for 2 years, might as well get use to it agree!? So there I was in the line, waiting and moving a step or two every other minute.

Finally after about 5 minutes, I reached the end of the line to where the canteen lady stood ready to take my order. I got my wedges and was so excited, also a side order of mash potatoes. So with my 2 so called dishes, I made my way to the pondok we were at. So I saw Shahrul on the way to go there. Imagine the amount of people I have to go through and dodge to get there.

So I carefully made my way through. Until I was walking pass Shahrul and he tickled me from behind. Like! I'm holding mash potatoes! Going through a sea of people! BAD TIMING!!

So after we got through the crowd, I treathened Shahrul pouring my mash potatoes gravy on him as a pay back for his action. So I placed my cup on his head and tilt it. Of ocurse the intentions were not to pour it on to him to make it actually FALL!! But dang it! IT DID!!

about 1/6 of the gravy fell SPLAT on his hair! when it did, I quickly pulled back and hunged my mouth as wide as I could remember. A rush of guilt rushing through my body. DAMN!! What did I just do!? When he realize drops of gravy were dripping of his hair, he quickly turned to me and had this 'LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!' face. That made me feel worse.

Ok so I know that sounds bad as it is, but to make it worse, I actually laughed myself off!! It was such a sucky thing to do! I mean like, why in the chocolate puding's sake did I do that!? So after a caught hold of my breath, I handed Diana my lunches and trailed him all the way to the sinks. He didn't even look at me, and again the whole dodging the crowd thing.

An apologetic expression pasted on my face. All the way and back.

Whats funny was that when it happened, the thing he cared for was his shirt which got striked out by the gravy too, instead of his hair.Honestly, if it was me, I'd freak that my hair is flavored gravy! But again, he is Shahrul so.. you get my point!

He wouldn't even look my way after that. I solemly made my way back to the pondok. Felt even more guilty than before. Atikah and Diana were being all 'WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?' and YARGH!!!

After a while, Gg and the rest came and when I told them about the incident, I got the same reaction. After that I finished my mash potatoes. Still giggling about the incident but at the same time feeling bad. When I got to my wedges, it was the greatest thing I ever tasted! The taste circulates in my mouth, the thought of the potatoes, and the goodness of it all were just SO GOOD!!

When it was time to go back, Diana came up with the most unusual question. 'Farisa would you eat food that has fell on the ground' I asked her why she asked that. And she told me that Atikah's food fell and yet she still ate it. So I was like.. owh okay. And told off the whole theory about picking up your food in within 5 second after it fell, then its still safe to eat.

After a while later, she told me it was actually my wedges were the ones that fell. How I threw a fit! Its gross! In within 5 seconds they picked it up, but THE HELL WITH THAT! Its gross! Felt like barfing but in the end I made jokes about how the wedges felt extra nice with the extra flavour of foot!! But its still digusting.

Note : If you guys dropped my food, LEAVE IT!!! Don't pick it up again!! And tell me about it, evetually I'd forgive you! hahahahaha! No seriously!

So now Shahrul has forgiven me! Its all GOOD!!!

OK so now I'm starting to think Add Maths is harder than how I thought it was. I still love it I do!! But it takes up SO MUCH SPACING in my book, and the amount of time spent on ONE measly question for you to just get a simple X and Y!

G and I took about 45 minutes doing ONE QUESTION!!! Crap! Of course there were occasional pauses and Gg going ' he's so cute' about IMran but dash that! ITS STILL LONG!!

I often feel tired now a days. By 11 I'd be sleepy. And homeworks never have enough time to be spent on it. Room still messy. Guitar still un-tuned, unplucked and un-used for practise. Havne't started studying. Tuitions piling up! And I FEEL LIKE GOING SHOPPING!!!! NOW NOW NOW!!!

Call me someone to set my priority straight for me!

And I feel like eating Cik Ti's Nasi Kerabu and Mak Teh's Asam Pedas! Owh GOD!!!!

My hair is behaving well which is good.

And my voice is easy to control. so ITS ALL GOOD!!!

I'm going to slave myself to add maths again!

- my boyfriend is covered with gravy and its all MY FAULT!!! so aren't I mean!?

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 11:59 pm | 2 Comments

Sunday, January 30, 2005

scroll DOWN!

scroll down!!






down to the very end of the scroll bar! nice eyh!? think so too! Owh and btw. Half a thousand visitors! WOO HOO!!

- on the way down!

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 11:22 pm | 2 Comments