skin my BLOG!

listening to : some football match
mood : happy and getting annoyed
current status : have good hair!!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Alright! These Blogskins ARE KILLING ME!!

Be strong be strong now! Too many too many blogskins!!

(It was taken from avril's song Nobody's Home btw.. a little change of words)

Yeah well.. They are really killing me!

THERES TOOOO MANY!!!

Miza said to look for specific ones.. UNder specific topics..

So far I've been to
-pink
-orange
-blood
-confusion
-sleek
-perky
-hearts

GOD! I TELL YAH!

What were these people thinking when they're making these blogs?

Lose your self to teh whole process!?

Yup!

They're lost alright!!!

Haih..

Well I found some good ones though..

Theres one of them has this REALLY cool picture.. But the skin doesn't shout 'FARISA' so I'm still considering the whole..

SOMEONE HELP!!!

Miza is putting up my tag borad nanti! OWH YEAH!

And I'm gonna get serious on this whole Blog thing from now on!!

I'm gonna have tagboard, and cool blog skin, even links and otehr cool stuff!!

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!

Can anyone suggest any other topics to look for? Ones that you think may fit ME!!

Really need it! I'm dried out!

- NEED HELP! NEED BLOGSKIN!!

dr. ANGSTY and miss WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD!!!

listening to : iklan mobil
mood : getting all crazy!!!
current status : BUTT CRAM!!

OK THATS IT!!!

I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!

I WANT A BETTER BLOG AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

Atikah! I curse you!

I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!

U EVIL EVIL PERSON!!

THATS IT!!

I'M MAKING A NEW AND IMPROVE BLOG AND ITS GONNA BE

CcCooOOOOOOOOOOOllLLeeeRRRRR!!!

HMPH!!

And you better watch your back at night!!

I'm sneaking to your house and taking your Ashlee Simpson's album!!

IT'LL BE MINE I TELL YAH!!!!

MINEE!!

**HEAVY BREATHING**

Cookies anyone!?

I'm making a batch! Hehehhe!!

You know paper dolls and tea parties are so cute!!

They're so pink and Girly!

I am like so in love with them!

And have you seen those hot new pink cutex!

They're simply ADORABLE!!

And I have to get my hands on that cute pink Teddy!

On sale for 5.99.

** HEAVY BERATHING **

I HATE PMR!!!

I HATE STUDYING!!

I HATE SWEAT!!

You know what! I have been stressed out on this whole PMR IS NEAR thing..

39 DAYS MIND YOU!!

ARGH!!

And what am I doing about it!~?

You've guessed it!

NOTHING!!

Well I have been studying I mean not the whole studying studying coz I don't spend every waking hour burried in books and I think its safe to say that you see me more without my book than vice versa and mama has been going all 'sasha buat latih tubi and stop playing with teh phone' and whats weird is that I wasn't even playing the phone when she says that and whats even weirder is that I spend more my time with my phone than my book which is so not right because I have to spend more time with my books since hello PMR is near and I just feel all depress now but god help me I'm not doing anything about it and to which I SO shoul but I just can't coz study is so boring and GOD and I usually lose interest within one hour and to which one hour of studying everyday is so not enough I mean I ahve 24 hours in one day what'd I do besides trying to break my snake record and thinking bout ways to design my hair..

** HEAVY BREATHING **

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me!
HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYTHING I'M ABOUT TO SAY
AM I THAT OBVIOUS ITS AS IF ITS WRITTEN ON MY FACE
I HOPE IT NEVER GOES AWAY

BOUNCE BABY OUT THAT DOOR
I AIN'T GONNA TAKE THIS NO MORE

GET OUT! LEAVE! ITS THE END OF YOU AND ME
ITS TOO LATE AND I CAN'T WIAT FOR YOU TO BE GONE
COZ I KNOW ABOUT HER AND I WONRDER
HOW I BOUGHT ALL THE LIES
YOU SAID THAT YOU WOULD TREAT ME RIGHT
BUT YOU WAS JUST A WASTE OF TIME!!

WE'RE LOOKING UP AT THE SAME NIGHT SKY
AND KEEP PRETENDING THE SUN WILL NOT RISE
WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOR ONE MOR ENIGHT SOMEWHERE SOMEHOW

DON'T MIND SPENDING EVERYDAY
OUT ON YOUR CORNER IN THE POURING RAIN
LOOK FOR THE GIRL WITH A BROKEN SMILE
AND ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO STAY A WHILE
ADNS SHE WILL BE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED!!!

** HEAVY BREATHING **

Does anyone know how to break a lock!? Don't tell atikah!!

** HEAVY BREATHING **

'FARISA IS FAILING HER PMR!!' READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

* HEAVY BREATHING **

'Kenapa asyik termenung?'

'Ntah'

'Nak mama bagitahu kenapa?'

'Tak nak. Tak Pa'

** HEAVY BREATHING **

If train A goes this fast and train B goes that fast.

HOW FAST DOES TRAIN C GOES?

** HEAVY BREATHING **

DIANA!!!

Wanna hear a joke!?

I was walking one day.. Then I met a man.. He told me he hadn't had a bite for 3 days..

SO HE BIT ME!!!!!

HAHAHAHhahahahhAHHAHAHAHhahaHAHahaHAHahHAAHahHAHahah!!!

** HEAVY BREATHING **

Do you know that if your handphone is using line, the messages is written on the bill?

I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

** HEAVY BREATHING **

Imagination!!

** HEAVY BREATHING **

Sorry for being rude.

Friends!

** HEAVY BREATHING **

You think I don't know what you've been up too?

UH-OH!

** HEAVY BREATHING **

Who have studied form 1 and 2 maths?

Honestly.

NOT ME!!

** STOP BREATHING **

- Wanna see the hole in my head? Coz its sure effecting my brain!

downUNDER!

I made lasagna today. It tastes nice. I'm glad I made it. It tastes tomato-ish. Yay.

Mama is mad at me coz she said she knows about what I have been doing and is mad. She threatened to take my phone away. I don't even wanna know. She's gonna have mother-daughter talk soon. I'm scared!! I'm afraid I'll flake out and freeze and not be strong enough to hold on and fight back! I mean, not fight back as in words. I mean fight back as in hold my stand.

What to do!?

Shahrul call me!!

- If she's doing this to help me concentrate more on my PMR! She's got another 'think' coming!

lifes BRIEF candle!

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time
And all of our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death
Out Out Brief Candle!!
Life but a walking shadow
A poor player
That struts and frets it's hours upon the stage
And then is heard no more
It is a tale
Told by an idiot
Full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.

Shahrul! Call me! Need to talk to you!!

- Yeap! It may not be a song but its angsty!

PMR = 41 days

This just to tell poeple PMR is near. Hehe.

GO STUDY!

But come back to read my blog kay!

And comment!

- 41 days is like near right..?

press-SURE!!

listening to : Dancing in the Moonlight - Tak ingat his name
mood : biasa
Current status : kinda mengantuk

ok! reading back my blog, I came across one of the posts.

Study Of Life.

Whoa. Thinking back! PMR is not in 52 days anymore!

Its in 41!

4 and 1!

Sigh..

Ok! Trials is in like a week and I'm still goyang-ing kaki and playing the computer. I know I should be more serious.

But theres only one problem.

I CAN'T!

Its not coming to me. I tried. I honestly did! Honest!

But the minute I start to open my book, I'd start thinking of something else.

Ok ok!

The constant nagging from mama, and ayong getting in my back a lot and my own concious-ness. Only these are the things that is pushing me to study.

And ayong now has gone back to school and mama has been really busy even she has no time to nag on me. That only leaves me to keep me form studying.

Nope! Not a good idea!
Not at all!

Well, I still have a lot to cover..

I haven't even start Agama and Geografi! I still need to brush up on my KH and Sains form 3! And we haven't even freaking finish Sejarah!

So basically
- Sains form 3
- Kh form 3
- Agama all forms
- Sejarah form 3
- Geografi all forms
- Math (I don't really study this)
- BM (brushing up on komsas)
- BI (has to finish reading Dr. J and Mr. H and me being me, has lost the book)

Owh yeah!

Uh-huh!

7 days can Totally cover this much!

NOT!!

Sigh!!

Hey! Where is that gun!

I clearly remember asking someone to shoot me through my veins!

Well, I was depressed really bad once, that I actualy considered to cut myself. Yes I know!

FARISA!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

right!?

I know I know I'm the one who's so against all this 'cut for happyness' thing.

No hard feelings to anyone!

But I was feeling really bad that day! But now, thinking back about it. I couldn't believe I even thought of it. But seriously, if ever that whole depression so bad came again, I'm looking for a blade! NO ONE STOP ME!!

Ok enough about that! How did I even get into that topic again!?

Anyways..

Yeah.. Having read Miza's blog and what she told me that day, the thought of 'PMR is around the corner' came to me again.. Curse IT!

I mean.. I have been SNAPPED to reality a lot! But its just not getting to me! I'm imune to it! To the whole thought! And that just sucks coz if I don't feel anything towards it, I won't do anything about it. And not doing anything about it means I won't study. And not studying meansI won't get good grades. And not getting good grades means I won't go to a good university. And not going to a good university means I can't study in England. Not studying in England means I can't even have a wee bit chance to meet Daniel, Emma and Rupert, and I won't get a good job. nd if I don't get a good job, I won't have money. And if I don't have money, I can't buy me clothes. And if I can't buy me clothes.. Ok lets not go there...

But basically the point is..

Not getting freaking 8A's means it'll only lead to 'NOT GETTING' in the future and I can't live with that.

Mama has threathened to take away my phone from me. Maybe it is for the best, but I need my phone with me. Shahrul calls!

And thats another thing.

Ayong too threathened to tell Mama about me sneaking out to meet Shahrul and having long conversations with Shahrul, if I don't get 8A's. And that SNAPPED me too. I can't let her do that!

And Mama told me once. Its okay if I don't get 8A'S as long as I tried my best. Yeah! Like she'd understand that. And I do believe her. She has been one cool mom who understands me even though it is only sometimes..

But now, that she knows about Shahrul, (knows that I like him I mean), I thought, If I don't get 8A's, she will use the 'tu lar! Ada boyfriend lagi!' excuse. Even though the whole 'I understand' thing.. And that kills me. She's going to ask me to break up with him or something. It just kills me to think what will happen if I don't get 8A's.

I mean, its expected. From my whole family. And when I said whole, I mean whole, as in.. Opah, Atuk, and my whole blood relatives. Its expected. All of them are like, 'eleh, Sasha kan pandai, Ayong ngan Along boleh buat, Sasha mesti boleh punya, PMR senang!' And that put pressure on me. I haven't exactly been ALL A'S MATERIAL GIRL here.

Ayong cried when she saw my last Geografi test paper.

And I think thats one of my problems. I too, have been expecting to get 8A's. believing I can because I have gotten use to getting all 8A's. Dulu I mean. And I just thought. 'I mesti boleh buat punya. Study pon studylar but mesti boleh lar' But now. Thats just not it anymore! I AM NOT SMART! WHO CARES ABOUT MY FUCKING EMAIL!

I did that just to make me feel better. To just believe that I am smart, just to keep me up. It won't let me down because I know I can do it. Sometimes I believe things that are not true, even thought I know its not true, just so the fact that its not true, doesn't pull me down. I believe I can get to England one day, even though heck Mama said thats never going to happen.

Looking at Ayong making future plans for herself scares me too. She's planning to go to France for exchange student stuff and even think about studying there. And France is already taking a lot of money. Imagine going to England, lagilah! Besides! I don't think I'd ever have the grades to go that far.. But I still keep believing I can. I do. ANd that helps me go on.

So I'm sorry to anyone who feels that its stupid believing something thats not going to happen, and basically, I don't care. Coz I know what I believe and I believe it!

And just this year, I have Armand, Tikah, Shamil, Lynn, and all my friends to compete in. Pressure right! I mean, imagine the embarassment if I don't get 8A's..

Even though one of my intentions of getting 8A's is so that I won't be embarrasses (thought its probably so wrong), but as long it helps me, as long as ut pushes me, than its alright!

So basically thats my whole point of PMR right about now!

I am expected to get this 8A's that I don't think I can get but just believing that I can helps.

And I'm sorry, to anyone who believes in me, if I don't get 8A's. Ii I dissapoint you guys. Again.

In a few months from now, you guys will see one post syaing either:

-> YAY! I GOT 8A'S! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

or

-> MOM WAS DISSAPOINTED! I FAILED ALL OF YOU!!

Pressure GILA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- 'Sasha kan pandai, mesti boleh buatlah!' I guess you haven't been checking my grades!

i'm wet!? You're going DOWN too..

Listening to : Liz Phair – Why Can’t I?

Mood : biasa.

Current Status : ntah really!

My weekend was pretty good!

RUN THROUGH!!

Sleeping late last night, I bangun at about 10 am. Hehehe. My eyes were buldging and puffy and it hurt! My nose is like red and blotchy! But breakfast was nice

CHOCOLATE NUTELLA JAM!!

Still need to know why its nice?

I tried to study that morning. Failed again!

I didn’t even have mood to practice my drums or guitar! Yeap that bad!

I just felt like.. I felt like running away for that day! Going to a place I don’t know. Peaceful and nice.

So much for that!

I just played the computer for a while. That’s when mom already asked me to get ready for my classes.

Owh BOY!!

I got there and had my drums class.

Sigh.. Yeap.. That’s how I was feeling when I stepped in the class.

I thought it was going to be another one of those classes where I had to start from the beginning again. Well, I played from the beginning alright, But not bevause I sucked. But because the teacher wanted to check and see if I remember all those stuff I learned before.

And did I remember it?

Owh yeah!

I conquered!!

I was really good that the teacher joked about me being high because I was really good at that time.

BOO-YAH!!

Afiq dared me to a little Drum Competition. I ROCKED! I played drums like I never thought I could play before. Serious! And yeah! I won!

I was sent to my aun’t house to help her decorate the house for that night’s party. Yeah, it was fun coz the four SISTAS can bond again.

That night I spoilt my dinner with chewing gum and chocolate kisses that my dinner was very.. Blurgh!

My Sunday was double doodle FUN!

The morning was belajar belajar and you’ve guessed it! BELAJAR!!

Well, petang petang my cousins came over and we spent like 4hours talking jer.

Serious.

Then Tikah taught me some Geografi and probably I am crazy for saying this but, I’m beginning to like Geografi.

Good eyh!?

Yeah. Then at about 6 pm, mama was siram-ing bunga kat luar and me and Ayong just hanged out there with her. Out of no where, I was standing happily looking at the water slashing the root of the pokok, Mama sprayed the hose water at my face.

RIGHT AT MY FACE!

I was wet all over and I shrieked like GILA! Ayong was the other victim too. Owh yeah! It was fun and we were wet.

Not letting it go away without revenge, Ayong distracted mama and I sneaked in the house, grab a cebok full of air from the bathroom, and discreetly sneaked behind Mama. And then it happened.

MAMA GOT SPLASHED BY A CEBOK FULL OF WATER AND OWH YEAH! SHE SHRIEKED!

It was the funnest I ever had with Ma and Ayong. I laughed so hard my tummy was hurting so bad!

It was so funny.

So us three girls masuk rumah WET!

Ayah (my uncle), wanted to take me and Ayong for dinner that night. So I was ready by 8 pm. But Ayah being himself, always late I mean, picked us up pukul 9 so by then I wasn’t even hungry anymore.

But I did get to watch She Will Be Loved and Chocolate video clip which are like THE BEST! Adam Levine is so cool! I love the way he looked in the video and the way he acts and stuff. He’s cun!

And Kylie was looking utterly seductive (as usual). Its pretty disgusting really but she was cool in it. Lagu dah lar sedap gila! So that’s good.

Heheh.

Then we went to Sri Ayutthaya and had Thai Dinner!

The CRAB WAS DELICIOUS WITH BOLDED D!

Despite having missed my O.C., I did get to see some pretty houses in Shah Alam. They were gorgeos I tell you!

GORGEOUS!!

Well. I did get to catch O.C. for 10/15 minutes.

Then malam-malam ckp phone ngan Shahrul.

- I GOT YOU MOM!!

LAST week of CUTI!!

Listening to : Omar Khan – Baby (and the sound of that crappy wrestling show)

Mood : not so bad!

Current status : frustrated by my brother!

Wow!!

It seems like forever that I haven’t write in this little pinky winky blog of mine!

Joy and laughter for everyone!

Alright! I don’t remember what happened to me in the last one week (or is it 2? Gee.. now I’m confused)

Anyway, let me just highlight the highlight-eds!!

18^th – GOSH! I haven’t even had time to get the idea of our anniversary sink into my head. I mean, I was thinking about it and all of course but never actually done anything that whole time we’re in school. Why?

Coz the f***ing Gerak Gempur is on and it’s the f***ing Science and I haven’t f***ing study! (Gosh that felt good!)

Yeah so the whole time at school I could only think about (3^rd planet from the sun = EARTH!!)

Only after school that we actually ‘celebrated’.

Shahrul came over to my house and Imran (particularly) liked him there. He was being all manja-ish with Shahrul. F-R-E-A-K-Y!

FREAK-Y!

We just spent about 2 hours talking. Yes talking. With the freaking KH paper the next day but who the hell cares! Well, I did. After that!

But nope. I couldn’t get those info-s in my head. Basically kept thinking of that day.

So what the heck! I ended up waking up at 2 am to read KH. And I only covered from 2!

Yay!

It was kinda ok to study in the middle of the morning but eventually by 5 my eyes got so heavy I couldn’t even think! Maybe 20 minutes of sleep wouldn’t hurt right!? Nope. Doesn’t hurt. Only if that 20 minutes turns out to be an HOUR!!

Bite bite bite me!!

I woked up at 6 something and by then I already had to get ready for school. Joy!

Lucky KH is after rehat. So I had a few hours to CR-AM! CRAM! My form 3! Way to go brainhead!

19^th – Brilliant! My plan worked! Along ur the best! My cous helped me sneak past my mom to go to Subang Parade with Shahrul, Miza and Fandi. It was a fun day all and all! We had Sushi! What could be more fun than raw eel, cold rice and Wasabe eyh?

Hahahaha!

I enjoyed my time there but mostly we were busy finidng my cousin’s present. I felt guilty to drag Shahrul along this! He looked so bored and I was being all ‘WHAT THE HECK DOES SHE LIKE!!’

Sorry Shahrul!!

20^th – Ok! Ok! Again I have said this once and HECK am I going to say it AGAIN!!

TRUST MY FREAKING INSTICNT!!

Owh yeah!

I didn’t feel the idea of going to Syed after school that day was such a good idea. But I guess not being able to see Shahrul for about a week conquers the whole am-I-sure-I-wanna-go-through-this feeling. So me and Miza went to meet the boys (guys) there. We just sat there and talk but I kinda felt like it wasn’t such a good day. The CRAP! ‘Bad thing is gonna happen’ feeling again.

FUCK THEM!!

Well. Like I said. When it comes. IT COMES!!

And in this case. The phone call came!

Who you ask?

Put M-O-M together!

Why she call you ask?

Put A-S-S and B-R-O-T-H-E-R together!

Yeap! My brother had to go to his friends house even though he promised my mom he wouldn’t!

And she called my phone to check up on my brother. And what would I say!?

I’M NOT HOME!!

I DON’T KNOW!!

So I said I was at Miza’s house. And SHE WENT BERSERK!!

‘Kenapa pergi tak bagitau mama!? Mama nih kedekut ke? Bukannya mama tak kasi pergi! Bagitau je lar! I marah your adik sebab pergi rumah kawan and it goes for you too! You’re grounded until the end of the year!! I’m really dissapointed!’

Yeap! She said it!

The D word!

The whole time on the way I kept thinking about my freedom! Now what about it again!?

OWH YEAH!

ITS GONE!!!

Shahrul kept saying sorry for ajak-ing me BUT ITS NOT YOUR FAULT SHAHRUL! I’m the one who didn’t tell her! Sigh..

On the way balik I saw her car at homeand she said she was going to pick me up form the jambatan! Shahrul can’t even send me home! I hate that! We didn’t say goodbye. I just pushed him in the other direction.

I’M SORRY AGAIN!!

At home, nasib baik ma keluar ngan Ayong so I had an opportunity to talk to Shahrul!

We talked pretty long. It was a pretty good conversation we had.

Two days later I didn’t get to see him. Make it 3. So we only connected through internet and my trust-y phone.

And now its Tuesday and we met at Kelas Tambahan. Tapi sekejap jer. We didn’t even talk much. Then (again) we sneaked to Syed (I’m beginning to think those mamak bangla who works there already recognize me, Shahrul, Fandi and Miza, serious!)

Its not exactly ‘sneaking;. I mean mom knew I was going out with friends but I kept being all concious of my surroundings because I thought mom could jump out of the car anytime. Seriously, I don’t know why I was so scared about mom finding out coz she knew about Shaharul and all cool with it. But I guess it’s the guilt inside.

And so my moody-ness cost Shahrul his fun time.

AGAIN SORRY!!

Owh well. We did get to talk on the phone so that’s good!

- ‘So how’s Shahrul?’ ‘Gg! He’s in front of you!’ HAHAHAHAH!!