Monday, May 10, 2010


She waited for her roommate to be fast asleep before braving to the dark kitchen to make herself a necessary cup of coffee. She was convinced that she could finish pouring everything she knew about the secondary market by 2am but the alternative was ridiculously tempting. She found that flipping to that particular blinking orange Yahoo Messenger conversation box was making her heart flip even more than the idea of not sleeping the whole night. She knew it would be trouble but she could not find the will to resist.


I got to finally sigh out my relief at 4 this afternoon as I click the send button to my final assignment for this semester. The weekend has not been very hectic. All I can deduce out of it was that it has been quick. Saturday was filled with meetings and such. I stepped into the Festival Malaysia meeting to be greeted by only few, all familiar faces. The meeting went well. I wasn't much prepared but after putting it all in perspective, I admit I actually am quite excited to dive into this. I understand that much of my time will be gone to that but I've always been excited in event management. I'm just a little worried as I am quite bad at delegating tasks and it may affect every other thing in my life but I do think I could learn from it.

The meeting was followed by lunch with Kuchai and Gajan. I really do think that I have gotten close to that boy. In my opinion, he has a questionable way of representing himself but he has a distinct mindset and is always genuine in what he does. We then made our way to the Malaysia Aspiration Program GM. I self elected myself as the Secretary of the Returning Officer and was voted to take the Deputy of Logistics and Special Tasks. A post which I will respectfully give to someone else as I needed to concentrate on Festival Malaysia now.

I sat down in front of my computer, my head spinning and my body stinking inside the warmth of my sleeping bag. I stared aimlessly for a while when my head swam through motions of what had happened since Wednesday. I realize that I like to be in control. I personally do not think that that is a particularly bad thing. I realize this due to my three recent assignments. I chose my Marketing group mate because they were sitting at my table at the time of recruitment while I was chosen to join the three boys for Microeconomics because the Malaysian boy knew my name in class.

I knew my MicroEcons group was going to be good because I teamed up with boys whom I assume were quite good with Economics (and this is purely based on the stereotypical assumption that geeky Chinese Malaysians are smart). Gary turned out great as he did know a lot but I was quite disappointed at how one of the boys failed to meet us even once. Gary and I were the ones who always end up meeting and although I refuse to be the assumed leader, Gary never failed to consult me in most of the things they were doing. I was glad that he was semangat enough into the project even though he had 3 other assignments due the very week.

I was quite nervous going into my Marketing group because it consisted of 5 people all from different countries. I, the Malaysian was to work with an Australian, a Mexican, a Singaporean and an Indonesian. I later found that these people were quite outspoken and knowledgeable so I relaxed as I know it was going to be ok. The group was great only except the fact that no one really stepped up and we had quite bad planning. Meetings weren't really prepared properly and randomly had all 5 members meet together. They assumed me as the team leader when no one started speaking up. I didn't mind only except the fact that I didn't know much about the actual company that we were researching, Virgin Blue, I only knew about the structure of the assignment. I continued this role found later that they came to the last meeting quite prepared and equipped. I was proud of them. However, due to bad planning a lot of things just went out of place and some gotten more work than others.

While all of them did chip in and do their parts, I kept getting this urging feeling inside of me that I needed to be the one to compile everyone's part and be the last to have a look at the reports before they are deemed to be fit for submission. I voluntarily chose to take on the job for economics assignment as I didn't trust them with proper English and sentence constructions but what pissed me off most was that many didn't do their part as planned and so I needed to do research and readings to re-do their parts. Although I kept positive in reminding myself that it is for good revision, I still felt that I could have used those times to focus on my two other upcoming assignments. And my problem is that I get very carried away with making things coherent and perfect that it takes up a lot of time. I re-did their graphs to fit mine just so that it looks more cohesive.

As for my Marketing report, I was adamant to refuse the role of compiler as on the same day, I would need to send in my Finance 1 assignment as well. I finished my part of the report early (although at the time my head was swimming with all sorts of rubbish that I didn't do it quite as good as I planned to). Although so, I was confident the group were able to make it better. I decided to leave it at that. But once I have finished my Finance assignment, I submitted it and found that a have a few hours to squeeze in some much needed sleep before my Finance lecture that day.

But of course, having that urge to be in control made me volunteer myself as the compiler for Marketing assignment too. I knew I could have let someone else done it as originally planned, as someone else did compile it. Although so, I had that huge urge to go through every single detail of the report in order to make it perfect. This obsession has gotten me to skip both my Finance lecture and tutorial. Although it did contribute to the betterment of the report and the group, I have personally made my self worst off.

Although I was quite satisfied with getting that control, the lack of sleep got to me and every other thing (like my homework due the next day) went badly. Sigh.

Damn. This. Obsession.

- Get yourself up off bed. This is a new day today :)

from the mind to the fingers of Farisa Roslan | 6:21 pm | 1 Comments